wine by the color

2011-10-18T23:31:00.004-04:00

After eight weeks of no action, a dress has been purchased.

I tried on eight dresses in trips to three stores on two different days. I didn't try anything on at the first store because I wasn't particularly interested in looking like a sequined whore when I walked down the aisle. That seemed to be their specialty. The second store was nice enough and had non-sequined-whore dresses but nothing in my size. And the woman informed me that it could take up to eight months to get a dress made, which sent me into a minor panic given our desired February/March timeframe.

But a trip to David's Bridal on Sunday proved to be much more productive. I had seen a dress I liked on the store's website and my parents both accompanied me to check it out. I tried that dress on and liked it quite a bit, but then the girl next to me was trying on something else that caught my eye, and the rest is history.

It's nothing like I expected I'd want to wear. And that's about all I'll say about it for now. I don't think the Captain remembers I even have a blog (completely understandable, given that I seem to have forgotten about it for the better part of the year) but I don't want to risk it.

Venue and date are next on the list. We have found a place we both really like but need to visit said venue and make sure it's not completely unreasonable. But we're optimistic it will work out. We also have an invitation list and some semblance of a wedding party.

In the meantime, I've decided to get a head start on some things people probably put off until the last minute. For instance, the wedding music. Given our lack of a date, we certainly don't have a DJ, but that hasn't stopped me from researching songs we'd like to hear, including a song for the father-daughter dance. Attendees will not be hearing that "Butterfly Kisses" vomit-a-thon.

But they also will not be hearing "Papa Don't Preach," as is oh-so-helpfully recommended here. The list contains several questionable choices, including "Material Girl," "Brown Eyed Girl," which refers to a girl getting it on with her boyfriend behind a stadium, and John Mayer's Daughters, which is a song about a father who emotionally scars his daughter so badly she can't have a healthy relationship with her boyfriend. That seems slightly out of place.

2011-09-28T22:45:00.002-04:00

So the Captain and I have been engaged for five weeks and have accomplished ... absolutely, positively nothing. We've really just been enjoying being engaged. I'm not much for stress and it seems like planning a wedding has the potential to be very stressful.

We also don't have a clue as to what we want to do, other than get married and have a big, fun party. The word Vegas has been mentioned more than once, as have options like Vermont, Atlantic City and a cruise. We've also discussed a January or February timeframe, which means we really should get cracking.

I got an email from Marriott the other day and this was the photo they used to advertise Mexican and Caribbean resorts. Unfortunately I can't figure out where this is, but this seems like it would a sweet spot for a wedding.

I have purchased five bridal magazines, which contain a variety of utterly useless information. We usually try to hit the wine before we read anything, to make their ridiculous tips seem amusing.

I've also been looking at wedding dresses online, which has replaced house shopping as my favorite time waster. Last night I looked at dresses while the Captain tended to other important matters (fantasy football is actually a higher priority for us right now; we desperately need some wide receivers). There are some truly horrible wedding dresses out there. The Captain provided some wonderful commentary as he looked over my shoulder...

"Is she supposed to be a bat?"

"She looks like a lampshade. An ugly one."

"Is that rubber?"

"I am Batwoman."

"I think I saw that on Star Trek."

"Is she supposed to be a bell?"

and my personal favorite...

"What the hell is that?"

We quickly returned to looking for wide receivers...

2011-09-07T21:27:00.003-04:00

We saw incredible things while in Alaska, ranging from countless bald eagles to salmon spawning in streams to brown bears less than 10 feet from us.

But we also found plenty of entertainment while in The Last Frontier, starting with this.

We did not have time to visit "A Place to Meat," which is certainly our loss. Next time.

I did eat reindeer sausage, however. Quite a lot of it. Tasty! My culinary growth knows no bounds.

2011-09-06T14:29:00.000-04:00

Life has been chugging along very nicely and rather quietly for a while now. No big changes, no real excitement, little movement on the home front, and generally nothing of note to report (which is one way to try to explain the complete lack of any posts here for the past seven months).

But that is about to change. In the past three weeks, I started a new job and got engaged (and yes, an earthquake and hurricane rattled NJ within days, which I'm sure was just a coincidence). We're also getting closer to putting Casa Magnolia on the market and buying a house.

So we'll have lots to chat about soon. I'd imagine the trifecta of new job, planning a wedding and buying/selling real estate will likely send me into a real tizzy.

And if nothing else, I could bore you with the 2,000 or so photos I took while on vacation in Alaska...

2011-02-09T22:49:00.003-05:00

As a strong-minded, independent woman, I'm probably supposed to find this offensive. Instead, I find it hilarious...

2011-02-08T22:20:00.009-05:00

The house search continues and has actually included several visits to open houses, which are all sorts of educational and amusing (washer and dryer in a closet on the back porch, anyone?). For a couple of days, we thought we had found our house - terrific location, amazing house with FOUR fireplaces and an inground pool, unbelievably right in our price range. Then we realized the taxes were $14,000 A YEAR and that was the end of that.

But my favorite time waster continues to be searching for houses online. And there is no finer entertainment than the photographs people use to try to convince others to buy their homes.

Let's start today with this. This is a strange room, featuring a small bed and a large chair. I envision a creepy scene whereby someone sits in the chair and watches someone sleep.

These two gems are from the same house. I can't decide which I like more, the framed guitar hanging in the bathroom, or the framed photo of an 80s hair band on the wall of the play room. You be the judge...

Then there is this house, where someone went absolutely crazy with ugly color...

Speaking of color, that offers a nice transition to what is easily the saddest little house I've seen listed...

By itself, the bright green living room might not have been that bad...

Ok, it would have been that bad. But then there's this view, which offers a glimpse of three different rooms, each a different, horrible pastel...

And let's not forget the kitchen, which features more green (not to mention peeling walls and cabinets)...

But color is the least of this home's problems.

I probably look at an average of 50 homes a week these days. I've been at it for a while, although when I first started looking it was much less purposefully than I search now. I don't know how many houses I've looked at in the past year and a half, but it is a lot.

And I can assure you, I have NEVER seen a bedroom that features ... a sink.

(In case you're wondering if I'm just confused, the caption under this photo under the listing reads: "Bedroom with sink." Pretty clear.)

Not to be outdone, there is also a half bathroom in the attic. IN THE ATTIC?

"Give me a few minutes, hon. I'm going to put away the Christmas decorations and take a dump."

It's a really sad house. But it is well within our price range...

2011-01-17T12:15:00.004-05:00

The good folks at The Jets Blog did a great job summing up the insanity that was yesterday's unexpected win over the hated Patriots at Foxboro.

Rex is right. These aren't the Same Old Jets. Yesterday was stressful but ultimately joyous. I wish I could perform the flying backflip a la Braylon Edwards. That's how I felt when it was all over and done...

2011-01-17T06:59:00.002-05:00

I will have more to say about this in a few hours. I keep checking to make sure it actually happened...

2011-01-11T11:39:00.003-05:00

Part of the reason I don't blog as frequently (and yes, I realize calling three posts in five months "as frequently" is probably pushing it) is that I just don't get all that fired up about many things anymore. The Captain is perhaps the most patient person I've ever known, which seems to have rubbed off and made me calmer.

But leave it to the assclowns at Comcast to raise my ire...

I haven't been able to access OnDemand programming since it became available several years ago. I've had other problems with my cable in recent months - I suddenly lost the NFL Network just as Thursday night games started; the 40 music channels stopped working - but the lack of OnDemand is what really annoyed me. It seems like it should be simple to fix (not to mention something they should want to fix as I could then give even more money to Comcast for movie rentals and the like) but clearly it's not.

After countless phone calls with individuals who assured me they had fixed the problem (through various levels of shaky English), I finally got someone last week who said the problem was probably my cable box. So I brought it to Comcast for a replacement last Friday afternoon. While there, I asked about their DVR service. Despite the prospect of giving even more money to Comcast, it sounded good so I was given a DVR box (which looked like it had been dropped from the top of a 15-story building, but she assured me it would work just fine), and off I went.

On the way home, I picked up the crazy nephews and niece triumvirate for a sleepover. When we arrived home, we tried to set up the box, only to quickly realize it was an HD box and was not compatible with my old but still working-just-fine-not-HD television. So I called Comcast to express my displeasure with this situation and the fact that the woman at the office didn't ask if I had an HD television. The woman on that call was extremely difficult to understand but I am pretty sure she told me the box would work with my relic of a television but it was very complicated and they would need to send a technician to do it (which would not be a complimentary visit). My blood pressure was running at an unhealthy level during this whole call and I finally told her I had to hang up because I was afraid I was going to scare the kids with an outburst of irate profanity.

Saturday morning, after the kids left, I called back. I chose the "cancel service" option, which surprisingly put me on the line with someone who spoke perfect English. I explained the problem to her and expressed my desire to cancel cable. I told her I was tired of paying for things I wasn't receiving. She helpfully pointed out that "actually, you don't have to pay to have OnDemand," at which point I suggested that "ACTUALLY, if it is a service you offer and I am paying more than $100 a month for cable then I am ACTUALLY paying for it."

She then helpfully asked why I didn't just hook the box up to the television using the "Cable Out" portal. I said I would be happy to do so if such a thing existed, but it did not. After some additional questioning, most of which seemed to be questioning my ability to find the words "Cable Out" on the back of the box, she eventually put me on hold. She came back about 10 minutes later to cheerily report that we could indeed use that box with my television and the video department would help me set it up.

I was then transferred to the video department, where I had to again explain the entire situation. And that's when the woman on the line said: "I have no idea what you're talking about." So I asked to be transferred back to the "Cancel Your Damn Cable" department.

When I explained the problem yet again, that woman indicated that no, that cable box would not work with my television. I believe I snorted with laughter at this point. And the only reason I didn't cancel then is because that woman wavied the fee for the technician visit and credited me for this month of cable.

And now we'll see if this actually gets fixed Thursday evening between the hours of 5 and 7...

2011-01-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

I'm proud to have friends working at the Daily News...

2011-01-05T14:13:00.005-05:00

Is anybody still reading? Has my five-month hiatus alienated everyone?

2010-08-10T16:05:00.002-04:00

Before we get to the travels of the past two months, a few more bad rooms...

Today's selections prove that just because people have money does not mean they have good taste. The rooms featured below come from a house that is on the market for $1,999,000.

Let's start with the dining room, which is completely over the top, but I guess if you're going to spend $1,999,000 on an abode, this is what your eating quarters are bound to look like:

Moving on to what I can only assume are the family room and sitting room...

Call me crazy, but I don't want to do any sitting with my family in either of these rooms.

Let's check out the bedrooms, where dramatic draperies were apparently the order of the day...

Bad. Just bad. But not as bad as this...

I have been looking at houses for several months and this is easily the worst bathroom I have seen. It almost defies description. What the hell is that blue and gold velour sprawled on the walls and ceiling? Did they do that on purpose?

Lest I appear completely negative, allow me to point out the absolute highlight of the house - the bar...

If I had to (and had an extra $1,980,000 on hand), I could probably live in this room alone.

In completely unrelated news, I saw this picture last week. I think it sums up the whole situation with His Holiness and his playing status - Goofy.

But it does provide the cheery reminder that football season is almost upon us...

2010-07-26T14:30:00.003-04:00

Look. It's not that I don't want to entertain you with my witty observations. I've just been very, very busy. Today marked my first appearance in the office since June 30. I have piles and mail and laundry to deal with at Casa Magnolia, where I've stayed roughly four nights in the past six weeks. I had more clothes in my car when I got home this morning then I did in my closet.

I hope to post daily this week to share what's been keeping me so busy and detailing my cross-country travels. Until then, let's check and see how the home search is going.

Meaning, let's look at some more bad rooms from houses in central Jersey. And there are PLENTY from which to choose...

This isn't a room so much as the design of the house. One can only aassume they have a very tall vehicle. And is that a room above it? If so, it can only be accessed by midgets.

It's hard to see, but the wallpaper in this room is shiny blue and some sort of gold lame. Call me crazy but I don't think this room was decorated in this century.

I have no words for this mess of a bedroom. Deep pink carpet, yellow and blue curtains, white room-dividing screens. Wood on the ceilings. Who would do this?

This is a sad, sad bathroom...

This is a cute blue house. I can't tell you what it looks like on the inside, because eight of the nine photos in the house's gallery are exterior views of the cute blue house. The ninth is a photo of the sign welcoming visitors to the town. So I can only imagine what's going on inside this hut. The listing does include the words "Bring your imagination!" That can't be a good sign.

This house actually has some really nice features and we might go look at it. But as we are people who enjoy our adult beverages, this staircase has "frequent trips to the ER" written all over it.

(and yes, I noticed all the trophies on the floor next to the Star Wars pinball machine. That speaks for itself - I couldn't possibly add anything to that.)

On the flip side, I do not have any problem with this room. In fact, I wonder if I know this person - they have Ohio State, Jets and Springsteen memorabilia throughout the room. Clearly good people...

I actually went to an open house a few weeks ago. The house was a three bedroom, 1.5 bath home in a town that's high on our list - an ideal location. The house was small but had some nice features. It also had some less-than-desirable features. For instance, check out this charming back porch. What you can't see is that the home's washer and dryer are in a closet that is only accessible via the back porch. Which means if it's raining or snowing and you want to do laundry, you'd better bring an umbrella.

The house also featured a master bathroom that did not have a shower or tub, and bedrooms so small that there would not be room for the bed.

So yes, the search continues...

2010-06-12T10:52:00.006-04:00

The Captain forwarded me an e-mail titled "Why Teachers Drink," which included a variety of answers provided by students on tests. Some of them were a real hoot...

(click to enlarge)

They also served as a reminder that I was not meant to be a teacher. I drink enough already without having to deal with this sort of thing...

2010-05-27T14:50:00.003-04:00

Some of my favorite Jersey peeps gathered last night to usher in a new era ... the new Meadowlands Stadium. Bon Jovi was on hand to christen the stadium, and they did an outstanding job doing so.

Due to some hearty pre-concert tailgating in searing temperatures...

it was dark by the time we entered the stadium so I can't really offer a review of the new joint. I do know the beers were good and cold. But while looking at some photos online today, I did notice this...

Given that the news of the 2014 Super Bowl was just announced Tuesday, they certainly didn't waste any time getting the signage up in the new digs.

And the old stadium is still standing. Part of it, anyway. We were pleased to see section 331 is still standing, as is the circular walkway at Gate D. Apparently, they are saving the best for last.

2010-05-23T13:05:00.006-04:00

A few months ago, the Captain and I saw my favorite anonymous commenter, BB, at a Jets' tailgate. Sometime during the day, BB blamed the Captain for my lackluster posting on Wine by the Color, arguing that since we've been dating, I've been a much happier person and thus less inclined to offer angry rants on the blog.

He probably had a point. I still have my moments - for instance, last week I received a promotional e-mail from NJ's largest paper offering "Camping at It's Best," which made me want to punch someone in the head, and you can always count on my friends at Continental to do something stupid. But generally speaking, my blood pressure doesn't get any near as elevated as it used to. I have a lot to be thankful for and find it easier to enjoy those things instead of focusing on the negatives.

Yesterday was a day filled with good moments, starting at 4 a.m. when we arose to join two of his friends for fishing. The plan was to head out to the Resor wreck, about 25 miles off shore.

I went out with KJ the night before. Had I known we were going to be powered by three 250-HP engines, I might have a few less beers...

But my stomach managed to calm itself and we spent a few hours fishing the wreck. Didn't catch a lot, but enjoyed a great day on the water.

My line kept getting caught on the sea floor, and we got the chance to see the possible culprits - these crazy-looking, sticky sea creatures that were probably stuck to the wreck but attached themselves to my line.

From there, it was on to a birthday party for the Captain's cousin, where I did cartwheels with the 6-year-old guest of honor, threw a football with her 9-year-old brother and cracked jokes with his delightful grandfather, who celebrated his 80th birthday last week. Then it was on to sushi and hibachi with the girls before rejoining the men at someone's house, where we enjoyed wine, music, chatter and laughter on the porch until late in the evening.

So really, what do I have to complain about...

Of course, remind me I said this a few months from now, when I start bitching about the Jets.

2010-04-07T22:29:00.002-04:00

Thanks to some recent unexpected capital expenditures, including a large bill from the J-E-T-S and a massive car repair tab due to something called a caliper, I've been considering taking on some freelance work.

Perhaps the San Francisco Giants need a part-time editor...

I mean, REALLY. There are two words on the front of the uniform. How hard is it to make sure both are spelled correctly?

2010-03-04T22:03:00.002-05:00

Just when I'm close to permanently calling it a day at Wine by the Color, my friends at Continental bring me back.

This arrived in my inbox yesterday...

We’ll soon be offering a new option for customers during check-in and wanted to advise Elite members of our plans. On March 17, 2010, we will begin offering customers the choice to purchase seat assignments for unreserved, Economy Class seats that feature extra legroom.

As an Elite member, you will continue to have the same ability to pre-assign seats without paying additional fees, for yourself and any traveling companions in your reservation, including these seats offering extra legroom.

This new offer will allow customers to purchase extra legroom seats when checking in at continental.com or at an airport kiosk during the normal check-in period, beginning 24 hours prior to flight departure. The price of these seats will vary depending on a number of factors, including the length of the flight and market.

As one of our most valuable customers, we wanted to let you know of the change and thank you for choosing Continental. We will continue to ensure that your loyalty is rewarded as we launch new offers.

Sincerely,
Mark Bergsrud
Senior Vice President
Marketing Programs and Distribution

What the hell is this? So I can still reserve a seat in these sections, but if for some reason they don't mention, if I don't reserve such a seat, I could pay extra for it later? Or even if the seats are available just before the flight departs, to get it you'll have to pay extra for it? Maybe I'm crazy or my reading comprehension skills are off-kilter, but this is nonsensical. This almost makes the luggage policy seem like a good idea. I'd love to be in the planning meetings at Continental, listening as they discuss new ways to generate revenue. You just know someone has raised the idea of paying to use the toilet.

For anyone keeping track at home, my list of Jobs I Do Not Want currently stands as follows:

1. The Person Who Picks Dead Animals Off the Side of the Road
2. Senior Vice President, Marketing Programs and Distribution, Continental Airlines

And good news for the two people still reading ... I have returned to my old department at the office, which means there will much more travel this year. Which no doubt will mean more shenanigans and stories of good times with Continental.

2010-02-10T20:20:00.001-05:00

Given the weather in New Jersey today, most people probably chose to spend the day indoors.

Not us.

We again hunkered down with our friends in Sea Bright. At first, the storm seemed like it might be a bust, as the promised heavy snow was instead nasty, driving sleet. But finally, the snowstorm came around and pounded us for several hours.

And then it was time to head outside.

First, the view of the river...

Then, we headed oceanside to check out the incredible wave action in the Atlantic...

I can't remember the last time I saw waves this impressive in New Jersey...

Work was canceled today. I know it's a lot to ask for a second consecutive snow day but I am cautiously optimistic. Power is out in many areas of the state and snow continues to fall heavily.

2010-02-07T09:40:00.014-05:00

While we're on the subject of beautiful skies and winter weather, I realized I never posted any photos from our trip to Vermont last month (which may have had something to do with my focus on the Jets' unexpected playoff run at the time).

The Captain and I headed north with friends for a long weekend in Killington, where we found fabulous conditions and a surprisingly uncrowded mountain. There was an amazing amount of snow, which made the lack of skiers even more surprising.

The views from the top of Killington Peak were stunning...

It was our first ski trip together and we had a blast. Despite being a mixed relationship (me = skier; him = snowboarder), we skied at a similar level. For the first time in many, many ski trips, I skied without a single fall. Which I'm sure had more to do with skiing more conservatively than being a better skier.

2010-02-07T09:19:00.016-05:00

The combination of bitter windy cold and a lack of motivation meant we never got outside yesterday to play in the snow. But the crazy day of weather did give us one final surprise, which made an interesting bookend to the scene 24 hours earlier, when the ocean was calm as the sun went down on the day...

Then, after the storm that dumped snow and blew very heavy wind for the better part of the day...

the storm died down and left in its wake a stunning, peaceful sunset...

so vivid you could see the color from the sunset reflecting in the river...

2010-02-06T13:01:00.002-05:00

With the threat of a massive snowstorm looming, we kept a close eye on the weather reports heading into the weekend. While most people were at the grocery store buying milk, bread and flashlights, we got wine and lobsters. We then hunkered down with friends who live across the street from the ocean in Sea Bright.

And what a storm it has been so far. At times snow has fallen at a rate of two to three inches per hour. We took a quick walk to the ocean early this morning, before the snow and wind got too crazy to be outside.

This is the snow blowing sideways off the ocean...

And this was taken standing on the seawall, overlooking the ocean. It was bitterly cold - the wind made it difficult to look into the snow...

The last few hours have been insane but we're hoping it settles down soon so we can get back out there.

2010-01-25T10:02:00.003-05:00

Despite my loathing for most things Evil Empire, I am a big fan of ESPN's Mike & Mike. I watch the show while getting ready in the morning and then listen while driving to work. Early this morning, just as I arrived home after driving north from the Captain's house, I listened to Greenberg tease their next segment by saying that the column he would read after the break would help explain the passion of sports fans.

I had a feeling I knew what he was about to talk about: this. And that's exactly what he did, taking the time to read part of this beauty of a column from a dear friend of mine.

The Jets' loss yesterday was certainly disappointing, although there's no shame in losing to a better team and an incredible quarterback. But that we were even watching the Jets play in late January was alone worth celebrating, and gave me and my fellow Jets fans a chance to enjoy a fun, unexpected run. I exchanged so many text messages over the past three weeks that my phone actually informed me it was at 100 percent capacity late yesterday, shortly before it died.

For the first time in years, I'm encouraged for next season. I was very impressed with how Sanchez played yesterday. Excited about the rookie running back who seemingly came out of nowhere. Love the coach. Eight months until opening day...

Oh, as for what happened in the other game? Let's just say I am EXTREMELY glad His Holiness is not still our QB. Had he been wearing a Jets uniform when he threw that interception at the end of the game, I surely would not have survived it. It was painful to watch as it was, but that would have been devastating.

2010-01-21T18:41:00.002-05:00

WHAT THE HELL ARE THE JETS DOING?

This is extremely bad karma. You can't be sending out e-mails touting a pre-sale for AFC Champs Gear three days before the game is played!!!

Clearly, team officials are unaccustomed to being in this position. And Woody never misses an opportunity to make a buck.

2010-01-21T12:54:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while, traffic in central Jersey is so bad it leads to an occurrence I like to call Traffic Armageddon. Yesterday was one of those days. I knew there was a house fire in my town that was causing traffic delays but couldn't believe the havoc it wreaked on the surrounding roads. It took me 40 minutes to go from the grocery store to my house, a two-mile trip that usually takes three minutes.

I later learned the fire was apparently deliberately set by the homeowner, who died in the blaze. A very sad situation.

But all is not lost. Yep, you guessed it - you can buy this photo!

I think it looks particularly nice on a t-shirt...

I know times are tough in newspapers, but can they honestly be generating enough revenue through this marketing ploy to make exploiting tragedies like this a wise business move?

2010-01-19T15:46:00.005-05:00

I'm sure I'm not alone among my fellow Jets fans when I admit I entered the NFL playoffs with low expectations. The team was schizophrenic throughout the season, playing brillantly one week, looking like absolute crap the next. Losing Kris Jenkins and Leon Washington halfway through the season. Led by a rookie quarterback with limited collegiate experience.

Their march into the playoffs was nice but not overwhelming, given the circumstances of the teams they were playing (although, as one of the fans on-hand Jan. 3 for a bitterly cold Sunday night win over the Bengals to get into the playoffs, they were well-earned victories. And now that I think of it, that was during my unannounced blogging hiatus so I never posted pictures. Here are a few - an excellent afternoon and evening of fun).

Anyway, I think most Jets fans entered the playoffs just happy to see their team actually at the party, an unexpected spot for a team declared dead by its own coach a mere three weeks earlier. While I enjoyed the nice opening-round win over Cincinnati, I tried to temper my expectations for the Jets' chances against San Diego and its 11-game winning streak Sunday.

We gathered with a melange of Jets-loving friends at our favorite local tavern to watch the game. After watching the Vikings take apart the Cowboys (enjoyable regardless of my feelings for Favre, which I'll get to shortly), we buckled down for what was sure to be a tense three hours of Jets v. Chargers.

And it was. Throughout the game, we felt the Jets could do it, it was just a matter of would they do it. They've led us to the brink of euphoria before, only to drop us off the cliff. So even as the game progressed and the Jets built a 10-point lead, I knew better than to get too wound up. When you're a Jets fan, you have seen it all, and now better than to celebrate until the fat lady has not only sung, but left the stage.

And then, she left the stage...

And chaos reigned in our local tavern...

Perhaps it's the years of heart-breaking losing ways that made this such an immensely enjoyable win. Maybe it's the idea that this isn't the same old Jets. Or could it be this team might actually be good enough to win it all?

Whatever the case, it was immediately added to the best moments of my lengthy career as a sports fan, joining the OSU Fiesta Bowl win in 2003 and the Mets' World Series in '86. Should the impossible happen and the Jets advance to the Super Bowl, I may need an oxygen tank and a heart monitor for the game. I will also have to remember to take the next day off from work...

As for His Holiness, I will admit to rooting for the Vikings despite my earlier vow to end it between us forevermore. It's dopey antics like this that almost suck me back in.

But rest assured ... should the Jets somehow advance to the Super Bowl and face the Vikings, I will not waver in my support of Gang Green. He had his chance.

2010-01-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

As a long-time Jets fan, I am always ready to have my heart broken. Sunday was no different.

So imagine my surprise when it went the other way...

Photos and video of the celebration that ensued will follow. Of course, I am slammed at work and can't properly focus on detailing my joy. But I will work on that this afternoon.

2010-01-15T11:38:00.004-05:00

Holy crap, you're still here?

Guess who just realized she could blog again from the office...

More to come.

2009-11-24T21:16:00.000-05:00

Between the recent travels and spate of injury and illness, I found time to do some house searching. We've narrowed it down to a few towns and have actually found a legitimate contender (although the thought of prepping Casa Magnolia for sale is a depressing thought). While searching, however, I have also found some more truly horrible rooms...

What is going on in this bathroom? So much wood. Tub in the middle of the floor. Big-ass mirror along one wall...

"You just go to the bathroom and I'll sit in this big regal chair and watch you."

"How are we going to distract potential buyers from the lack of furniture in this room? Oh, I know. Let's take one chair and put a big stuffed bear in it. That should work."

I have a feeling the owners of this hut held a lot of fancy tea parties for grown-ups...

Why even bother putting the coffee table in this room?

It may just be my eyes but this photo makes it appear that there's a wall along the right side of the bed and a dresser at the end of the bed. This leads to two obvious questions: 1) how thin is that room; and 2) what sort of flying leap is required to actually get into the bed?

In perhaps the most accurate real estate description on the internet, this is listed as "In need of some TLC." Indeed...

2009-11-23T21:45:00.012-05:00

I know the hot thing for this holiday season is sending e-Cards but I am not a fan. Call me an anti-environmentalist who loves killing trees and paying high postage fees, but I really enjoy sending and receiving holiday cards. I send e-mails all year long. For me, this is an opportunity to send a personal piece of mail. Who doesn't enjoy opening the mail box throughout December to find a greeting with a handwritten note from a friend?

(As a sidebar, I got a card in the mail this weekend and was momentarily stunned to have received a Christmas card prior to the annual festival of turkey, but it turned out to be a Thanksgiving photo card from friends of their incredibly adorable little boy and I exhaled a sigh of relief.)

Anyway, you know what I will NOT be sending out this year? This...

This suggestion was helpfully sent to me by the company that photographed the five-miler I ran Memorial Day weekend, under the subject header "tis the season to order your Holiday Cards!" Yes. This is the message I want to send. You can barely tell it's me in the back right of the photo but if you can figure that out, you will also note I'm sweaty and lumbering along, my shorts look like they're falling off and I'm getting dusted around the corner by what seems to be a teenager.

Call me crazy, but this does not scream "Happy Holidays" to me.

2009-11-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

2009-11-21T10:48:00.001-05:00

Today is one of my favorite days of the year, the OSU-Michigan football game. Normally, I'd be holed up in a tavern, enjoying Guinness, bar food and, at least in recent years, an ass-whupping by the Buckeyes. This year, thanks to a raging case of strep throat, I'll be parked on the couch. Had the doctor's assistant properly diagnosed my illness when I first went, four days ago, I'd be up and about and ready to head out for the game. But no. Bygones.

Fortunately, my Buckeye brethern has sent along a variety of Big Game material for my enjoyment...

Twas the night before game time,
And all round the shoe,
Not a creature was sleeping,
They were screaming Beat Blue.
The banners were hung by the lamp posts with care
in hopes that St. Todd would find Robiski through the air.
Drunken and crazy and burning their beds,
While visions of kick off danced through their heads.
When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter,...
I sprang from the keg to see what was the matter.
When there in the sky, in a Coupe Deville sleigh,
Was Woody Hayes decked out in scarlet and gray.
He looked on the crowd that was gathered around,
And said that he heard that a game was in town.
I came here to watch it, and wish you good luck.
Though it's not like you need it, cause Michigan Sucks!
GO BUCKS!!!!

2009-10-27T21:56:00.005-04:00

Oh that's right. I have a blog. I almost forgot.

Yes, it has been 20 days since I posted. But I have LOTS of reasons....

When we last spoke, the neck seemed to be on the mend. And then, it wasn't. It really wasn't. But I managed to make it to the final Springsteen show at the Meadowlands. It was not easy and my body was a complete train wreck after it, but it was worth it.

Did Adam enjoy his first concert? You can decide for yourself...

My brother and sister-in-law then escaped for a few child-free days, leaving me in charge of the crazy trifecta. We did the best we could given my physical limitations, making daily trips; first a stroll through Lambertville and New Hope on a spectacular autumn day...

then apple picking with my friends Ellie and Dan...

and a "nature walk" around the local reservoir...

We also went to dinner one night, during which we had this amusing exchange:

Me to the boys: "Let me know if you have to go to the bathroom, ok?"
Adam, looking around: "Do they have a bathroom here?"
Matthew, with a knowing nod: "A fancy restaurant like this always has a bathroom."

We were at the Outback Steakhouse. For them, it might as well have been Per Se.

After getting much worse after that, a several-day spell that included some horrifying twitching and jerking of my head, my neck finally started to feel better, thanks to some additional drugs, a complete lack of activity and some fabulous nursing by the Captain. I recovered in time to bring him to his first Jets extravanga on a cold and windy day...

(By the way, that is one of my co-workers to my side, pouring shots of sambuca. Good times...)

He handled our tailgating crew like a savvy veteran, including a "fatherly chat" with the Professor's father. That important hurdle cleared, we then traveled west to Columbus, to visit my college roommate and see the Buckeyes. We enjoyed some spectacular fall foliage, visited some of my old favorite haunts and witnessed the awakening of the OSU offense on another cold and windy day....

While in Ohio, we did not drive the two hours north to torture ourselves at a Browns game. I did return from the Buckeye State with a nasty cold, which figures, since I was finally feeling good after the whole neck debacle. Let's hope the illness is on its way out the door before next week's family venture to Disney.

Let's see, what else...

Oh yes, I checked my yahoo account for the first time in months and found I had more than 37,000 e-mails. Apparently, signing up for all the alerts on Freecycle in two counties and then not checking the e-mail account for several months was a huge mistake. Deleting more than 37,000 e-mails takes a lot of time. I currently have it down to 5,932.

I have also found time to pull over and watch beautiful sunsets as often as possible. It's time well spent...

That pretty much sums up October.

2009-10-07T20:45:00.002-04:00

Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?

Apparently, a big steaming pile of shit...

Was it really necessary to start promoting this crapfest more than three months before its release? I think not.

This, however, looks like something I'd really enjoy...

During my couch time with this herniated disc, I have watched more movies than I have in the previous nine months, including six new ones: The Wrestler; Rachel Getting Married; Sunshine Cleaning; Gran Torino; I Love You Man; and Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. All very enjoyable. Gran Torino in particular was excellent.

But I have attempted a few forays back into the real world, as opposed to the sanctity of my sofa, which is where I have spent most of the past eight days. There was Sunday's trip to see Ron White and dinner afterward with friends, which was an excellent albeit extremely painful outing.

Saturday morning I needed to run a few errands and wound up at my brother and sister-in-law's house. My younger nephew was getting ready for soccer and asked if I would come watch his game. There's nothing I would have liked more but I just didn't think I could handle sitting for that long so I told him I was hurt and couldn't come but would go to his next game. He understood but it broke my heart to say no. So I went home and thought about it for a while and then just willed myself to get over there. I arrived just in time to see him dribble the ball the length of the field and score a goal, which provided more joy than a day's worth of Vicodin.

Yesterday, the Captain decided it was time to take me for a test run so we went to a local park, Natirar. I was in a fair amount of pain by the time we returned home but it was quite worth it...

Today, I returned to work for the first time since Sept. 25. That didn't go so well. Sitting in a chair for more than three minutes is sheer torture. Given that, I might work from the comfort of my couch for the next few days. And pray that this is over SOON. I have a lot of things on the horizon that I'm really looking forward to - the last Springsteen show at the Meadowlands; three days alone with the crazy trio; a camping trip with the Captain and friends; and his first trip to Columbus to see an Ohio State game and meet some college friends - and I need to be in tip-top shape.

2009-10-04T09:59:00.001-04:00

Vicodin is good. I just thought I'd let you all know that.

---------------------------------------------------------------

My biggest fear was that Mangini would get fired by the Jets, then go to Cleveland and became a wild success, much like when Belichick left the Browns and then became a genius in New England. Well, clearly that ain't happening.

Here's a stunning recap of the disaster that is the Browns franchise since its return in 1999. Being a Jets fan isn't always easy, but it is definitely better than that torture.

---------------------------------------------------------------

When Le Anne Schreiber's tenure as the ombudsman of the Evil Empire ended earlier this year, I'm pretty sure the powers-that-be in Bristol decided they needed to replace her with someone who would much less critical.

Mission accomplished.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's not exactly timely given that his passing is now a few weeks behind us, but Patrick Swayze starred in several movies that rank among my all-time favorites. Honestly, I would be hard-pressed to name a quintent by a single actor that could challenge the joy these brought me:

The Outsiders

Red Dawn

Dirty Dancing

Road House

And this classic Saturday Night Live skit, which I can't embed and is not a movie but is a gem nonetheless.

Honorable mention would be given to Point Break, not Ghost. I was never a huge fan of that flick. Too much Whoopi Goldberg for me.

---------------------------------------------------------------

After being more or less immobile for the past four days, I'm going to try to pull myself together later today to join the Captain and some of our friends to see Ron White. It's probably going to be painful but it should be worth it.

2009-10-02T12:47:00.003-04:00

The only thing worse than having a major, incredibly painful injury is not having any reason for it. But apparently that is exactly what I have done - nothing.

Although a cervical herniated disc may originate from some sort of trauma or injury to the cervical spine, the symptoms, including arm pain, commonly start spontaneously.

Of course, this isn't the first time this has happened - this medical adventure first reared its ugly head in late 2006. To have it return has not made me happy. It has been a long week of horrible pain, which has made it almost impossible to sleep, sit, stand, shower or drive. All you need to know is that it's been so bad I had to skip the Springsteen concert Wednesday night. Really, what else is there to say...

Usually when I'm home sick I take advantage by doing household tasks like laundry, but I can't even get off the couch to do that. Even being on the computer is painful because of the searing pain in my arm and the numbness in my left hand. But I have found a new favorite web site - Sporcle - a repository of games, including lots of sports quizzes. It is an incredible time waster. Here are a few of my favorites so far...

-http://www.sporcle.com/games/Booger/ProTeamGNames
-http://www.sporcle.com/games/sportlogos.php
-http://www.sporcle.com/games/nosportstate.php
-http://www.sporcle.com/games/metalbands.php
-http://www.sporcle.com/games/springsteenalbums.php
-http://www.sporcle.com/games/leeann82/female_singers

The other upside to being completely out of action this week is discovering the Captain makes a pretty good nurse. He's made me meals, tended to household tasks, brought me flowers and sent me pretty pictures...

So I guess it could be worse. Not much worse, but a little...

2009-09-27T21:51:00.001-04:00

When I awoke very early this morning, the sound of heavy rain outside sent me back under the covers for another hour. I figured since I was going to spend the next seven hours in the rain, there was no need to waste time taking a shower.

Although today's soggy weather was not ideal, it was at least 30 degrees warmer than last year's brutally frigid WetFest, which made today seem much more tolerable.

Of course, the biggest difference is today the New York Jets beat the Titans to run their record to 3-0, which no one (and I mean not a single one of us) could have seen coming. Unusual behavior was afoot - Jets' fans optimistically speaking of possible home playoff games in January; a general lack of hostility directed at opposing fans and the referees; Gang Green's rookie quarterback recklessly hurtling his body down the field and across the goal line...

All in all, it's a rather nice time to be a Jets fan.

The Jets aren’t perfect by any means and they’ve still got a long road ahead. But, whatever Jet fan it was who sold his soul to the devil for a smash-mouth coach and a promising young quarterback, I just have to say one thing. Thanks, Man. You’ve got my back.

On the other hand, at one point during the game while checking out the scores of other games, the Professor leaned over and asked, "Are you still supporting the Cleveland Browns?" Uh, no.

Now, if I were still fervently supporting His Holiness, I would have found the following very, very exciting...

But I will not get sucked back in...

(oh you know I will. but I'm really, really trying...)

2009-09-25T07:32:00.002-04:00

I watched the crazy trio earlier this week so my brother and sister-in-law could go to back-to-school night. About 10 minutes before bedtime, we enjoyed a little musical interlude...

Despite this strange method of winding down for the day, they went to sleep without any trouble.

And I think they just might be ready for their first Metallica show. Particularly Sweetie Pie Princess.

2009-09-21T07:32:00.004-04:00

A quick note before I hit the shower and head to work...

I made it to boot camp this morning but it wasn't easy. I got in and out of bed three times before I finally decided I needed to go, thanks to yesterday's culinary folly. Which I mean in the best possible way.

The fine folks at the Jets Blog continue to do a terrific job recapping the games and yesterday's was a real joy.

Of course, for veteran Jets’ fans, the last 28 minutes of regulation were sheer torture. Most stood by their televisions or hugged their neighbors at the stadium and expected another Brady-Belichick miracle.

But, it never came.

And...

What can I say. Last week was a thing of beauty. This week was Giselle Bundchen. It’s fun to be a Jet fan these days.

Ok, off to work...

2009-09-20T21:33:00.003-04:00

Sept. 11, 2000. A year before the significance of that date changed forever. Two months before my oldest nephew, Adam, was born.

And until today, the last time the Jets beat the Patriots in the Meadowlands.

The Jets' home opener is always one of my favorite days of the year, but the last few seasons have been slightly marred by two things: obscene heat and losses to New England. Today, no problems on either count.

We got a gorgeous day to catch up with old friends, eating and drinking prior to the game. The first game of the season always brings out a large crowd and today was no exception.

And the game. Oh, the game.

Spurred on by Rex Ryan's voicemail last week, the fans were louder than I have ever heard in the stadium. It was terrific to be part of such a lively, engaged crowd. And while I don't want to get ahead of myself, I'm officially excited about the team, particularly its new coach, the defense and the rookie QB.

I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later. For now, however, I must slumber. I have been awake since 5:20 a.m. and am just exhausted. And given the amount of food I consumed today, highlighted by three sausage sandwiches, I most certainly need to rise early tomorrow to go to boot camp...

2009-09-16T21:42:00.007-04:00

We knew it wouldn't take long for my younger nephew, who started kindergarden last week, to find trouble. Apparently he was a little boisterous on the bus today and the driver had to put him and his buddies in separate seats. When my sister-in-law asked about it, his response was: "it's the fifth day on the bus, can't a guy have his dreams!"

That kid really needs his own television show...

-------------------------------------------------------------

I always thought there were a few things I would never, ever do. High on that list?

-eat raw fish
-fall for someone who supports the other NY baseball team

And lo and behold, here I am, eating sushi and dating a Yankee fan.

Funny what love can do.

Last week, the Captain and I headed to see our first game in the new Yankee Stadium. He is a huge Yankee fan and I admit to having an interest in checking out the new stadium, so off we went. The weather forecast called for rain but what we got was a beautiful, crisp September night.

The stadium is nice, although I was amazed by how many empty seats there were, even with Derek Jeter chasing history. When I told my older nephew that we went to the game, he replied, "But tickets are so expensive!" He has an incredible amount of random information in his 8-year-old head.

We were seated in right field, which made this sign interesting:

I can understand the threat of balls but it would have to be a wild scene for a bat to wind up in that section.

Anyway, despite being surrounded by supporters of the Yankees, I managed to enjoy myself. Perhaps it was the company...

Derek Jeter entered the game three hits shy of Lou Gehrig's all-time Yankees record of 2,721. Jeter had gone 0-12 in the three games prior to this one so I didn't think we had much chance of seeing the record fall.

But alas, after starting the bottom of the first with a first-pitch bunt, he tied the record several innings later...

In the top of the ninth, he had a chance to break the record but earned a walk, setting off a robust chorus of boos from the crowd...

We were seated fairly close to the enormous television in the outfield, which provided quite the view of Jeter being interviewed after the game:

On our way out of the stadium, a very happy Yankee fan paused to take a photo with the new hits co-leader.

All in all, a rather nice night in the Bronx. But no need for my Mets brethern to worry - I'm not switching teams. Just being a supportive girlfriend.

2009-09-13T15:18:00.002-04:00

So as I sit and follow the Jets' season opener on the internet because I am working yet another weekend spreading the good word of the golf world, I decided to do a little online shopping. Usually, it's too warm at the home opener to wear a jersey and most of my Jets t-shirts have the number 4 on the back of them, so I thought I'd buy a new one for next week's game.

Let's look at some of this year's options...

Is it a bra? Lingerie? A shirt? Whatever you call it, it would cause a riot at the tailgate.

And then there is this...

I mean, really. What the hell is that? It appears to be a tube top with spaghetti straps. I can't imagine what I would look like in that after I polished off an Italian sausage sandwich, a burger, a variety of saturated-fat-filled snacks and a bottle of wine.

But the questionable options don't stop with the clothing. Let's check out the accessories...

This is the Jets "Fender Flair," which is described as "a purse is designed with two full size recycled aluminum team license plates that form the sides, and teardrop-shaped nickel plated steel end caps. The velvet lined bag has a pocket for your cell phone or makeup and a 21" leather carry strap."

Makeup? I don't ever wear make-up, let alone to a Jets game. And if I did, I would not pay $299.99 for a bag to carry it in. That's right, that costs 300 bucks.

Moving on...

Because nothing says "I love you and want to be with you forever" like a set of Jets rings.

I think I might just go with this...

2009-09-10T23:40:00.010-04:00

Can you feel it? Football season is here.

I love all sports - baseball, basketball, hockey, golf. But nothing compares to football. Last night at the Yankees game (and more about that tomorrow), the Captain and I ran into my friends Hank and Scott, our Jets tailgate revelry friends. The excitement about the impending Jets' home opener was palpable. And that's for a team we think is probably going to suck.

So as I sit in a suburban Philadelphia hotel watching the NFL season opener between the Titans and the Steelers (and hoping the Titans don't lose by more than 5.5 points because I am apparently a borderline degenerate gambler who is involved in four pools - five if you count my contributions to the Captain's fantasy team and yes I just might have convinced him to pick Favre as his back-up but it was a weak moment and my arguments were obviously convincing and old habits die hard), I'm looking forward to two football games this weekend - the OSU game against USC and the Jets' season opener against Houston. Do I expect either of them to go well? No. But WHO CARES! It's football season. (By the way, I've had some wine tonight and should be sleeping. Bear with me.)

Anyway.

The fine folks at The Big Lead pointed out this story today and I have to say, I stenuously object. Sure, I don't love that the Buckeyes keep losing big games. Would I prefer they don't lose Saturday, or at the very least not get blown out? Um, yes.

But I am certainly happy with the consistent Big 10 titles and wins over Michigan. I'm very pleased they are competitive year in and year out. And most importantly, I'm quite happy the program isn't an ongoing source of embarrassment, with players getting arrested for a litany of offenses or suing each other, as happened during John Cooper's era, when one player sued another for an injury suffered during a fight during a Buckeye practice.

This reminded me of a gem from my literary archives. When OSU finally fired John Cooper in 2001, a legendary sports writer named Bernie Lincicome, an OSU alum, wrote a column questioning the hire. I took the opportunity to fire off a passionate communique. He wrote back and was quite friendly, although I'm sure he also notified the authorities. (As a follow up, he covered the Women's Open in Denver in 2005 so I finally had the chance to introduce myself. I admitted I was the crazy lady who wrote 'the Ohio State letter,' and he knew exactly who I was. Guess I made an impression...)

Oh, and as an additional side note, the part about Eddie George talking about how people make too much of the Michigan game is 100% true, which makes what he said to players at the title game a few years later (about it being more important than the Super Bowl) all the more amazing.

Enjoy. And remember, I'm not crazy. I just love football. And my alma mater.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Lincicome,

I wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts evoked by your column regarding the Jim Tressel hire at Ohio State. I always enjoy reading your work, particularly since your move from Chicago to Denver. Imagine my delight to learn that you are a fellow Buckeye.

As a teenager, I visited the Ohio State campus for the first time in the spring of 1987, the week after Woody Hayes died. Midway though my visit, standing in the lower level of Ohio Stadium, I announced to my parents, "I'm going here." So enthralled and determined was I, only one college application was completed.

I arrived in Columbus from New Jersey in the fall of 1988, the same year John Cooper arrived from Arizona State. After a tenure-opening 4-6-1 season, I wondered what had happened to the glorious Buckeye teams of the past that my uncle, a 1971 OSU grad, had talked about. Growing up in Jersey, I watched Rutgers wallow in this sort of mediocrity for years.

Despite this, I immediately developed a passion for Ohio State and its traditions. I went to Heinegate and the Varsity Club on Saturday mornings. I sat in Block O. I learned how to slur my way through Hang On Sloopy. I vowed I would one day walk down the aisle to Le Regiment. I decided I'd rather be struck down with a horrible illness that ever say one nice thing about the Wolverines.

Cooper quickly brought in a pool of incredibly talented players and returned the Bucks to their winning ways, and the program back to national prominence. He teased fans with a glowing winning percentage, bowl appearances, even a Heisman Award winner.

But he didn't deliver where it mattered most - the big games. Games he should win, and games he needed to win. Bowl games against Air Force. Regular-season games against Michigan State. And most certainly, games against Michigan. The rivalry. The biggest tradition in Ohio State's rich history.

When the Bucks tied Michigan in 1992, I jumped and cheered. For a tie! 92,000 fans were just so happy to have not lost to Michigan for the fifth straight year, they didn't seem to mind that they hadn't actually won the game. We were being lulled into accepting mediocrity.

This is the legacy that is John Cooper.

So you are absolutely correct when you say that Cooper was fired because he did not beat Michigan. Not because he didn't win the games, but because he didn't seem to care that he was losing them.

And I think he was given such an inordinate amount of time to try and try again was because he was a decent man who seemed to be running a fairly clean program. And let's face it, he got a lot of mileage out of that 97 Rose Bowl win.

I spent a year covering the Bucks for the Lantern, and spent a lot of time in the company of John Cooper. John Cooper is a good man. Someone I defended for far more years than I should have.

But that ran out on January 1, 2001. Eighteen days ago, I opted to watch the Mummers' Parade rather than suffer through another John Cooper-led New Year's Day heartbreak. Mummers!

But I'd seen it too many times, this season-ending two-game fold, and couldn't sit through it again. I did not perform my pre-game ritual of putting on my red jersey and playing the Best Damn Band in the Land CD.

If someone who has converted their dining room into an "OSU Room" cannot bear to watch a bowl game, the State of the Union, so to speak, is sorry indeed.

Ohio State did not call and ask me for my opinion on a new coach either, although I would also have been happy to provide it. Was I delirious at the thought of hiring Glen Mason? That goes without saying. Had I convinced myself, as well as anyone who asked me for an opinion, that Chris Spielman could do the job? You bet.

Sure, the name Jim Tressel lends itself to a bit of queasiness on my part. Can he recruit Big 10 talent? Who knows. Can he handle the incredible scrutiny he's about to face from the media and, worse yet, the alumni? Tough to say. How will he react if the team starts out 2-5 and OSU fans put 'For Sale' signs on his front yard, as they did to Cooper in the fall of 1988? Should be interesting.

But we get to start over. At the very least, Tressel will bring a new enthusiasm to the program. I want to be excited about Ohio State football. I want you to be excited. I want my kids to one day be excited. I want them to sit in Ohio Stadium and have their spine tingle at the sight of Script Ohio.

So, although I don't know who Jim Tressel is and I don't know if he can recruit or win, I do know this: he's not John Cooper, and that's good enough for me right now.

I know there will be someone in the Woody Hayes Athletic Facility who's an Ohio guy, someone who understands how special it is that he's there, who understands the importance of the tradition of Ohio State football.

Someone who understands why the Michigan game is important.

Half the beauty of sports is its rich traditions, and that's what makes Saturdays in Columbus, Ohio so special. I have plenty of friends who went to places like the University of Delaware and East Strousburg State. They'll never have the thrill we do sitting in the 'Shoe, and my sympathies are truly with them.

Cooper didn't seem to feel it. He didn't teach his players to feel it. That was evident watching Eddie George on ESPN the other day, talking about how maybe people in Columbus make too big a deal of the "supposed" tradition at OSU.

An Ohio State Heisman Trophy winner, overestimating the importance of tradition? Quick, somebody stop Woody's grave before it spins itself into orbit. Maybe Coop should have slugged someone.

Maybe Desmond Howard after he struck the Heisman pose in the endzone. At least then we would have known he cared. That he was upset about losing big games when he had a stable of future first-round NFL talent that any coach in the country would have killed for.

I am now 30 years old and eight years removed from my time in Columbus, and it still matters to me whether we beat Michigan. And unless Andy Geiger has lost his mind, I'm pretty sure there is now someone leading the charge to whom it will matter as well.

Go Bucks!

Sincerely,
Jersey Girl
Ohio State '93

2009-09-08T22:45:00.002-04:00

Years ago, I was an enormous Bill Simmons fan. I knew exactly what time, on which three days per week, his columns would be posted and waited for them, hitting the refresh button until they would appear. I laughed heartily at his pop culture references and rampant fandom. I sent him a message that included a reference to my ownership of the "Fast Break" soundtrack (on vinyl, no less), which led to a brief but humorous e-mail exchange.

Somewhere along the line, my devotion waned. I found other things to read, and he wrote about professional basketball way too often for my tastes. And not surprisingly, the Evil Empire overexposed him, creating the Sports Guy's World, which completely flooded the internet with content. It was too much.

But then, he writes something like this (with part 2 here) and completely sucks me back in. As far as I'm concerned, writing just doesn't get any better. He makes me feel like I am there in Vegas and know his friends. Actually, his friends sound a lot like my friends, which may have something to do with that. But his talent for setting the scene and making the reader feel a part of it is a true gift.

At first, I was going to highlight a few of my favorite lines from this two-part gem, but I was highlighting every other paragraph. As a teaser, here are two things that made me laugh very, very hard:

12:20: The doorbell rings. It's CEO Eric! He's accompanied by two scantily clad Pizza Girls, five pizzas and a case of Bud Light. I'm not kidding -- this almost caused a riot. One girl is dressed like a cheerleader; the other is wearing Tom Brady's jersey and underwear (only if both had been shrunk to one-fourth the size). Later, CEO Eric described our reaction as "2-year-olds at a birthday party as Barney walks in." By the way, we're old.

and:

The bad news: I am officially constipated. Food I've eaten since Friday morning: Arby's roast beef and curly fries, pizza, Sausage McMuffin, blueberry muffin, more pizza. Call it the Vegas Diet. I think my body would reject fruits and vegetables like a bad kidney match at this point.

Read and enjoy.

2009-09-02T22:26:00.000-04:00

There are a few things that came to my attention during my vacation that are worthy of a mention...

I don't remember in what context this was brought to my attention, but brought to my attention it was. And after the week of eating and lack of exercise I enjoyed while down the shore, it's comforting to know that should I become a size that precludes taking care of business by my own hand, help is available. The Freedom Wand. "A product that gives you your dignity and independence back!"

Indeed.

In other news, the Evil Empire has found its new ombudsman. I found this an interesting side note:

More disclosure: One of my sons has worked at ESPN Regional Television for 15 years as a producer/director. He's made a great career for himself. If one of his shows requires comment in this space, I'll be sure to remind you. As the saying goes, "A conflict disclosed is not a conflict."

I don't have a great feeling about this. His first column goes a little easier on the Evil Empire than his predecessors would have been and I question whether someone with a background in television will be as objective as someone outside that world. Of course, given my officer standing in the LeAnne Screiber Fan Club, I don't know that I can be trusted to be objective so what do I know.

But while we're talking about a lack of objectivity, I need to be honest about something. As I mentioned before I left for vacation, just because you give someone the boot doesn't mean you stop thinking about him, particularly the good times you shared. And if you do a search on this web site for how many times the words "His Holiness" have appeared, you will see we shared a LOT of good times.

So when I saw this the other day, I'll admit my hard-line stance wavered a bit...

Then I watched this and the off-the-cut wit His Holiness displays really threw me for a loop:

I'm not going to lie. This may be harder than I thought...

Last weekend, the Captain and I were hanging out with two of his best friends and their wives, and the ladies were discussing how YouTube completely sucks us in, that you go looking for one simple thing and the next thing you know, you're looking at something completely unrelated.

Which is to say, somehow I wound up watching this...

2009-08-30T22:07:00.004-04:00

I'm wrapping up a lovely much-needed 10-day respite from the working world, which started with a fishing outing with the Captain and some friends, a trip that departed as the sun started to light the day...

Many fish were caught. Unfortunately, most of them were these damn sea robins...

But everyone scored at least one keeper fluke, which were masterfully filleted by the Captain...

On day 2, I took Crazy Nephew Matthew to Great Adventure for his birthday present on what was unquestionably the hottest day of the year. Almost unbearably hot and humid. But the little daredevil didn't seem to mind, not even when we got stuck on the top of Rolling Thunder for five minutes...

Seriously, how cute is he...

From there, it was time for our annual family vacation in the town where it all started, where our time was spent riding bikes...

watching the sun rise...

and set...

building things in the sand...

finding things in the sand...

enjoying stomach-flipping amusement rides...

and generally enjoying the company of the crazy trio...

Once our week there ended, I returned to the Captain's hood for an afternoon of fishing with the boys. I deftfully dropped my camera during a slight boat roll and managed to make a total bird's nest of my fishing line, but it wasn't enough to ruin another terrific afternoon on the water.

I always get sentimental on Labor Day, when summer ends, but this year might be particularly so. I can't remember a better summer. Fortunately, my favorite season is just around the corner. Autumn, you ask? No, football.

2009-08-18T21:51:00.002-04:00

It's not like I didn't know this was coming.

In fact, I drafted several responses to prepare for this possibility, starting in late June. I wrote His Holiness a Dear John letter. I crafted a lengthy post where I compared His Holiness to a former boyfriend who spent several months of our relationship seeking others via a social networking site. I created a top 10 Reasons Brett Favre Can Go Straight to Hell list. But when he announced, a mere three weeks ago, that he was indeed retired for good, I decided to let it go.

And then, today's news.

Today, I took the first steps in making a full break with the athlete formerly known as His Holiness. While in the office, I took a piece of rope and made a small noose, which I then hung around the Favre Jets figurine that heretofore sat atop the mantel in my office (yes, I have a fireplace in my office. pretty damn sweet) and hung #4 from a pipe in the ceiling. I sent the Captain a text message that read: "Good news. I'm all yours. Brett Favre is dead to me."

Tonight, as I sat in a local establishment enjoying a Guinness or three, taking in the press conference officially announcing Favre's return (because seeing him practice with the Vikings wasn't confirmation enough), I apparently watched with angry daggers shooting from my eyes at the television. It was probably a good thing there was no volume on the tube. My reaction had I heard his remarks would not have made a good impression on my co-workers (and, as an aside, if you live in New Jersey and need a solid happy hour spot, might I recommend this joint, which had delicious 50-cent sliders until 7 p.m.).

I'm not so naive to think that this break-up will be easy or clean. It's like when you see an old boyfriend and he looks pretty good and you only remember the good times, and forget about the crappy times that led to your break-up. Hell, during tonight's press conference, Favre laughed at one point and I almost got sucked in my his handsome face. But this is indeed a split and although I'll no doubt be tempted, my days of wholeheartedly supporting the hero of Kiln, Miss., are over. The title of His Holiness is officially retired.

No matter what, I assure you I'm handling this much better than this dude.

2009-08-05T12:06:00.003-04:00

So I guess the big news from WBTC World is that I have started to investigate real estate in the Jersey shore region. While the hour that separates the Captain and I is not an insurmountable distance (particularly when compared to some lengths I've traveled in the name of romance in the past), we have a shared interest in that 50 miles being considerably shorter.

As a result, I have spent a lot of time on realtor.com lately. And what I have come to realize is that people have some really terrible ideas when it comes to decorating their homes. So I think it's time for a new feature on WBTC - an ongoing gallery of Bad Rooms.

Let's jump right in, shall we?

Could anyone describe the furniture scheme here? Because to me, it looks like an antique desk accompanied by a stool from a shoe store, a safe with some sort of jewelry box on it, and two velour dining room chairs...

From the same house, I didn't know this sort of kitchen furniture was still actually used anywhere but the front window of antique stores...

Thinnest room ever?
"Honey, I can't find the remote."
"Just lean over and change the damn channel."

This is a sad, sad room (although I do actually like the paint color on the walls)...

Do we think the doorways in this house came this way, or did they decide to kick it up a notch?

I truly have no idea what's going on here other than there are a LOT of exposed wires in the ceiling of what I can only hope is the basement...

And this is just bad, unless you're a sales rep for Pepto Bismol:

I think you'll be hearing a lot more about this in the coming months. This appears to be a treasure trove of material.

2009-07-28T22:33:00.003-04:00

I remain a fervent reader of This is Why You're Fat, because knowing things like the Rubix Cubewich and the Hurler Burger exist brings me a lot of culinary joy.

Last week, the Captain and I went for a very late breakfast at a local diner. Normally I'd go with one of my two staples - French toast or eggs - but a pretty picture on the menu jumped off the page.

That plate of wonderment is called the Readington Skillet - scrambled eggs, potatoes, onions, peppers and sausage, all covered in melted cheese. It was damned delicious. But it also looked like something that would be at home on the pages of This is Why You're Fat.

And questionable dietary decisions like that are why I continue to arise at 5:20 a.m. daily to go to boot camp. This is the third session I've attended and I'm still really enjoying it. What I'm not enjoying this time around is some of the new people in the class. Every session is a mix of veterans and newcomers. Two of the rookies in this class are the loud overly chatty types. The kind who run their mouth more than they actually run.

And one of them wears jean shorts. Every day. Huge jean shorts (as she is a relatively huge woman, starting with her mouth and most notably her ass). Perhaps jeans culottes would be a more apt description. They're really big. Anyway, I love jeans but I can't imagine anything less comfortable than exercising in denim. Can you imagine the thigh chafing? Egads. And we are talking about thighs the size of tree trunks.

Also, on an unrelated but extremely important note to the woman in her mid-40s I saw in the store earlier today, a quick PSA ... DO NOT WEAR WHITE LINEN PANTS AND RED GRANNY PANTIES. It does not look good.

Yes, my thoughts on this whole Favre situation are forthcoming. The whole mess is ridiculous. Not as absurd as the indignity of being a Mets fan these days, but silly nonetheless. I'm being heavily recruited to join Yankee supporters. While I would never make such a switch at this point in my lengthy history as a sports fan, this face is making a strong argument...

2009-07-17T09:28:00.005-04:00

I was never a a regular listener of Mike and the Mad Dog and since their split, I have not listened to one single minute of the loud fat man. Similarly, as I am not a satellite radio subscriber, I don't listen to the Mad Dog often. But I did enjoy this:

Neil Diamond's "America" playing in the background as Russo offers his ranting mission statement is particularly enjoyable.

I got an e-mail from Bon Jovi the other day with the subject line: "Bon Jovi Online has NEW apparel, pet accessories and more!‏" No, I thought, they couldn't have sold out that much...

Oh yes they could:

Not to be outdone, the Jets sent an e-mail hawking their swimsuit sale:

Anyone who eats and drinks the way I do at tailgates is not in any shape to wear that thing...

2009-07-11T11:06:00.004-04:00

The local newspaper continues to call every few days regarding my lapsed subscription and I ignore their calls 98 out of 100 times. But today, after nine long days in an overheated, buggy media center, combined with several days of 4:30 a.m. wake-up calls and 18-hour days dealing with incompetent, lazy media, I was in the proper frame of mind to answer their call.

"Hello?"

"Yes, how are you today, my dear?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Great. I see you used to subscribe to the Courier News. Was that a weekend subscription or every day?"

"It was daily."

"Any why did you stop, was it a vacation issue, or had you reached the end of a promotion?"

"No, it was a quality of the paper issue."

"Oh. Hmm. We've heard that a few times. Well, would you be interested in getting the paper again, either weekly or perhaps on the weekend?"

"Given how many of my friends lost their jobs last week, I'm going to have to say no."

"Ohhhhh. Oh. Um. Well, ok. Thank you."

Had I thought about it, I would have again mentioned my disgust for their ongoing practice of selling photographs of people's tragedy and hardship.

Fortunately, I'm sure they'll call again next week so I will have another opportunity.

2009-06-30T19:45:00.004-04:00

The Captain is no doubt going to regret teaching me how to use the camera's video feature...

My older nephew is taking golf lessons. I'm sure this is how Tiger Woods got his start:

Speaking of the galaxy's greatest golfer, I got so busy at the Open I never posted details from my week as press conference moderator.

After two uneventful interviews the first day, I tackled 10 press conferences on Tuesday, including perhaps the most recognizable athlete in the world. After introducing myself, we had a few minutes for small talk prior to the start of the press conference.

To my surprise, I was nowhere near as nervous as I expected to be. Perhaps it was because I didn't have much time to think about it, or because things had gone well to that point, buiding my confidence. But after some quick introductory words, I turned the session over to the media, who took it from there.

The crowd in the room swelled to several hundred media members, which was quite a crowd...

I spent most of the 30-minute press conference calling on media members and listening to Tiger deftly and thoughtfully answer all questions. But my mind would wander every once in a while. I can't say exactly what I'm thinking here but I'm sure it was humorous or inappropriate...

(In that photo, if you enlarge it and look real close, you can see the burn mark next to my eye, the result of poor curling iron management. Super smooth, that's me.)

A few of my other favorites from that day...a young Irish standout named Rory McIlroy and Sergio Garcia, who was the only one of the golfers who pulled out my chair for me. Spanish gentlemen do know how to treat the ladies.

The following morning, Phil Mickelson came in for his press conference. Mickelson, always the object of great deal of media attention, was of even more interest than usual given the recent announcement that his wife has breast cancer. Knowing the interview was being aired live on SportsCenter, I found myself far more nervous than I had been for Tiger's press conference (although that one also aired live on ESPN and the Golf Channel).

My sister-in-law later reported that the crazies had assembled to watch the press conference live and were quite impressed to see me on television. My oldest nephew inquired as to "why does her voice sound so funny?" to which my sister-in-law replied, "she's probably really nervous." Indeed she was.

But that was uneventful as well and with the pre-championship press conferences out of the way shortly thereafter, it was finally time to play golf. Several incredibly rainy days ensued which really screwed with the schedule. I had limited opportunities to interview players after rounds but when I did, things went pretty well...

I didn't get to spend much time on the golf course. My friend Ellie and I snuck out for a little while Sunday, which gave our friend John the opportunity to capture this shot of the two of us giggling about lord knows what as Phil walked by...

And then, it was like time sped forward and things were over before I knew it. By and large, I really enjoyed it. I learned I am a better public speaker than I thought, and that I can speak live on television and be the center of attention in front of hundreds of people without passing out or vomiting. I only needed a handful of Tums throughout the week and was able to eat normally (although I did eat a very light breakfast the morning of Phil's press conference).

So I would welcome the opportunity to do it again next year, particularly given that the Open is at Pebble Beach. Golf courses don't get much nicer than that...

2009-06-28T23:31:00.001-04:00

I took off Friday, a well-earned vacation day after a hectic week at the Open. The Captain had the day off as well so we decided to spend the afternoon on his boat, a small but seaworthy aluminum vessel called the Tin Tin.

We took a leisurely ride down the Shrewsbury River, at one point encountering one of the infamous river dolphins, swimming with a baby dolphin. From there it was on to KC and Nicole's abode in Sea Bright, where KC decided to join us for the afternoon. It didn't take long for KC to bag a keeper river fluke...

We returned to KC's, where the other order of the day was the 24-hour preparation of a pork butt in a smoker for a barbecue on Saturday. The smoker was set up outside their house, uncovered. That seemed fine at the time, but trouble was brewing...

After lounging around enjoying some late afternoon beers, the Captain headed to the water's edge to filet the day's catch.

While there, the sky started to look somewhat ominous. Within minutes, it turned downright nasty...

Thanks to my new digital camera (and the Captain, who not only helped me pick the camera but also thankfully knows how to operate it), we were able to capture some great videos of the storm.

First, the clouds roll in...

In part 2, the wind really picks up, the Captain and KC discuss the potential fate of Tin Tin and the smoker, and KC makes a run to save the smoking pork...

And in the third part, heavy rain pounds the house. KC does a lot of shouting while attempting to salvage the smoker below while the Captain and I huddle in a corner on the upper deck...

The storm passed quickly, allowing us to run down to the water to batten down the hatches on Tin Tin before the arrival of the storm's second round, which featured an incredible amount of lightning. And then the skies started to clear, giving way to one of the most breaktaking sunsets I have ever seen.

As we stood overlooking the river, taking in the sunset, we suddenly realized the real show was going on behind us, as a full rainbow filled the sky over the ocean...

Finally, with the worst of the storm having passed over us and darkness starting to fall, the Captain and I decided we needed to get Tin Tin home. We removed as much water as we could from the bottom of the boat and set off on our way...

As we rode, the spider lightning continued to fill the sky. It did help light our way home but was also a bit unsettling, knowing we were in an aluminum boat, surrounded by water.

Despite this, as I watched the Captain expertly maneuver the craft the 20 minutes home, I thought, if this was going to be how my time among the living was going to end, I couldn't have asked for a better day on which to go out...

Very, very good times...

2009-06-28T09:24:00.003-04:00

The death of Michael Jackson is a tough one. His music and dancing provided a backdrop for my early teen years - in fact, where I was when I first saw the Thriller video is one of my most vivid "where were you when" moments - but it is impossible to overlook the later "sleeping with young boys in underpants among other strange behavior including oh by the way I am no longer a black man and my nose is collapsing" years.

The Captain and I stopped in a local deli Friday afternoon en route to what would prove to be an incredible day of fishing, a wicked thunderstorm and one of the most incredible sunsets I've ever seen (photos and video to come, perhaps later today if I get motivated). While waiting for our sandwiches, I noticed the newspaper rack and started to giggle when I saw this:

DEAD.

So blunt. So NY Post.

Of course, they weren't alone in that approach. The deli did not have the Daily News in the rack, which is the only reason I didn't realize until I checked the web site later that they had gone the exact same route:

2009-06-15T16:45:00.003-04:00

Regular readers of WBTC are aware that I don't talk about my job very often. That is going to change this week.

Unrelated but worth noting is that two of my least-favorite things are speaking in public and being the center of attention. Given that, I really have my hands full this week.

I work in media in the golf world, and for the past nine years I have worked behind the scenes, running the media effort at the biggest women's golf tournament in the world. This year, I added a new responsibility to my duties, and it is a doozy.

I have been asked to moderate all the press conferences and interviews at the U.S. Open at Bethpage. This means I'll be sitting next to Tiger, Phil and friends in front of hundreds of media members - reporters, cameramen, etc. And if that weren't enough of a challenge, at 11 a.m. on Tuesday you can watch my efforts live on the Golf Channel. And throughout the week, press conferences will be posted in the video console at http://www.usopen.com/.

The scene will look something like this when the room is filled to capacity...

I have gone through this a million times in my mind. I've watched countless hours of others serving in this capacity to prepare. I have practiced in the mirror and made lots of notes. But it is a dizzying thought. But one I think I'm ready for. Really, my main goal is to avoid doing anything that puts me on You Tube for the rest of my life. This would include passing out, throwing up or accidentally using profanity.

However, should any of the above occur, which will no doubt lead to heart failure, I was born in a hospital a short distance from here. So should I experience any life-threatening situations during the week, I will be taken back (although not from whence I came, because that hospital met this fate) to an area hospital. That would make an ironic circle of life, don't you think?

The good news is I've already done two press conferences today and they've both gone relatively well. We'll see how tomorrow goes...

2009-06-04T02:10:00.004-04:00

If you were to visit the Bath and Body Works web site or local store, you would see the 1.5 ounce bottle of Warm Vanilla Sugar Room Spray pictured above costs $5.

Or, in my case, $165.

That's what happens when you keep said room fragrance on a shelf above the toilet, and one day, without touching the shelf, gravity takes over and the bottle falls just as the toilet is flushed. And despite a slow-motion mad dash toward the bowl, the bottle manages to just disappear down the hole, leading to a lengthy "OOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO" from the dwelling's owner.

You would then take several steps to determine what happened to the can of fragrance. You would learn toilet water is surprisingly cold. You would devise a search system using a plunger and a large plastic salad fork. You would throw away the salad fork so as to not accidentally use it for its intended purpose ever again.

You would then call your parents to describe the scenario and seek advice. Halfway through that phone call, your boyfriend would arrive home and look at you like you were a crazy person as your end of the telephone conversation featured phrases like, "I don't know if it's stuck in there or not" and "I don't know, it's about four inches high."

Your brother would make the initial repair effort, bringing over his toilet snake. While doing a google search for toilet snake, you would mistakenly come across stories like this. Despite a full snaking effort by your brother and enthusiastic spectating of said snaking by your nephews, the repair would prove unsuccessful, with resultory slow and incomplete flushing. You would then ignore the problem for a few weeks, leading to a situation whereby bathroom visits needed to be carefully thought out prior to usage, lest anyone try to flush more than the bowl could handle.

Finally, when you realized the water seemed to be bubbling, causing you to fear the bottle was on the verge of exploding which you are sure would be very, very bad, you would realize it was time to call a professional. You would quickly learn the reason your brother wasn't able to snake the item through is that it needed to be removed from the bottom of the toilet back up through the hole. You would then learn it's actually rather easy to completely remove a toilet bowl from the floor. Not that it's anything you plan to do yourself. But in an emergency, you might be able to pull it off.

And then you would have written a check for $165 which, were it not for the fine Jersey tradition of "knowing a guy," would have been twice that for the complete removal, snaking and replacement of the bowl, along with an unrelated part that needed repair.

So, all in all, you would think $165 for 1.5 ounces was somewhat of a bargain.

2009-06-02T18:46:00.003-04:00

I don't typically pay too much attention to college baseball so I'm a little late to the party on this one. But apparently there was a five-hour weather delay during a recent Big East game between UConn and South Florida. This is a long video but highly entertaining:

As a fan of sports, it's nice to see athletes having fun, instead of the surly mopes they seem to become once they join the professional ranks.

2009-06-01T15:15:00.010-04:00

As I drove over the Driscoll Bridge this morning on my way home after another great weekend, I had one of those realize-it's-happening-and-pause-to-enjoy-it moments as I glanced eastward along the water to enjoy the pink and purples hues of the early morning sunrise as Springsteen's "Land of Hopes and Dreams" filled the car (of course, I couldn't completely lose myself in the moment as I was going about 80 with my fellow northbound travelers on the Parkway, but I tried).

Truth be told, there have been a lot of those moments lately. Memorial Day weekend was full of them, from a successful Spring Lake Five to lots of time with family and friends to a great fishing outing with the Captain.

This past weekend featured more of the same...

I have done a much better job lately of working when it's time to work and enjoying life when it's time to do that, which combined with the great weekends has led to a happier, more easygoing Jersey Girl. Very little gets me fired up anymore (although I do have a draft of a Dear John letter should His Holiness sign with the Vikings, and this made me very angry, and I almost blew an absolute gasket at my friends at Ticketmaster this morning. But other than that, happy and easygoing).

This has left me wondering if it's time to put Wine By The Color on the sleeping geniuses list. I am about to start traveling again and football season is a scant three months away and those are always great sources of shtick, but lately I've been more interested in just living my life without writing about it. One of the things I have always struggled with on this blog is the narcissism necessary to keep it going, to believe people are actually interested in my everyday goings on and the things I find interesting, humorous or annoying. And let's be honest, without my rambling rants, the content drops dramatically around here.

But give me a few weeks. There are some interesting things, mainly work-related, on the horizon that will probably make for good blogging. If not, maybe we'll call it a career.

In the meantime, perhaps I'll just keep posting photos from the Captain. He has a gift...

As a postscript, I looked up "narcissism" to make sure I spelled it correctly. Did you know 75 percent of narcissists are men? Now that I found interesting...

2009-05-20T22:02:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure what it is, but I am really enjoying this commercial lately...

2009-05-18T05:27:00.000-04:00

My sister-in-law and I took a little road trip Friday to the land of chocolate to see Springsteen and the E Street Band. Although it's always a little different to see Springsteen outside the confines of Jersey, it was an outstanding outing. The weather was perfect - perhaps the nicest night we've had all year. We were treated to a solid setlist and amused ourselves people watching (central PA, with its hoopies, ranks just below NYC and Disney World in terms of people watching as a spectator sport.

But the highlight of the evening came from the drum set, as Max Weinberg's 18-year-old son Jay filled in for his father and was simply incredible. We saw him guest-drum during "Born to Run" in the Meadowlands last summer, which was amazing, but to watch him rock out for the whole show was really terrific. Springsteen really seemed to enjoy having him behind the drums and commented on his skills repeatedly.

Eighteen years old. Incredible. His "what I did on my summer vacation" report should be quite a read.

2009-05-15T07:33:00.003-04:00

I know it's only May but can we talk a little football?

Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback remains one of my favorite reads, even in the off-season. This past Monday, he rated all 32 teams as he currently sees them, from first to worst.

This seems about right for the Jets (although this ongoing nonsense with Leon Washington and Thomas Jones is troubling)...

16. New York Jets
They were 8-3 last year after 12 weeks with a quarterback playing well but not great, and they only fell off the face of the earth because Favre couldn't throw well down the stretch. The key will be whether Mark Sanchez can adapt to Brian Schottenheimer's offense and digest it in time to play very early, like opening day. Because what coach Rex Ryan is aiming for is clear. Speaking of Ryan, the Jets will be a fun team to watch because he's going to make some lesser lights shine in roles they've never played before. It's a fun defense, and his troops will eat it up. I could see the Jets anywhere between 6-10 and 11-5.

But the real shocker of this list came at #32, when King picked the Cleveland Browns to finish DFL, behind even the winless-in-2008 Detroit Lions. Depressing.

King also relayed the following anecdote about the new Jets QB:

I continue to be amazed at the response. The other night, my phone rang. "Mr. King,'' the voice said, "it's Mark Sanchez.'' Stop with the Mr. King business, I interrupted. Then he said he'd read about the benefit for Zim and wanted to know what he could do. This is Mark Sanchez, hardly a child of the Zim generation. Zim was writing Super Bowl game stories glorifying Joe Montana when Sanchez wasn't even in the womb yet. Sanchez wondered if he could do anything, and I said, "Well, a signed jersey would be nice.'' And so it happened, and you can visit our auction site, www.DrZ.cmarket.com, today and bid for the jersey.

And speaking of Jets quarterbacks, then (pause so I can take a deep breath), there was this...

6. I think I don't have much illuminating to say about Brett Favre, the will-he-or-won't-he man of the moment, because the cake's still in the oven. It's not done yet. Favre has not decided yet whether to play.

A couple of important points: The right biceps near his throwing shoulder isn't right, dating to last year with the Jets. He also has to decide that he'd want to train the way he did two years ago, when he had a live-in trainer for much of two months at his home in southern Mississippi.

I feel sure the Vikings want him and will put up with this long hiccup, regardless of the outcome. If they think he can be healthy come August, and he wants to play, they'll have him. And if Favre feels that by August he could play with no pain in the shoulder -- either after having surgery or it going away naturally -- it's likely he'll play. No matter what is said this week, it's not over now. Even if Favre says he's decided not to play, it's not over, because he's ruled by emotion.

Now, could the Vikings tell him no thanks, unwilling to be held hostage by the emotion of the moment? Yes, of course. But they shouldn't. What Brad Childress should do right now, simply, is tell his quarterbacks Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels, "Look, we're exploring signing Brett Favre. The guy was playing well last year 'til he hurt his arm, and we owe it to the organization to cover our bases here. So just keep working, and I'll keep you posted on what happens.''

Then he should announce that the Vikings are going to give Favre the time he needs to see if he wants to play and can get healthy enough to play, and then the Vikings will see if it's a smart idea for the franchise to make a deal with him, and everyone's just going to have to be patient while this process plays out.

And then...

7. I think you might be wondering how two news organizations, Yahoo! Sports and ESPN, could have such disparate stories 24 hours apart last week. Yahoo's report said Favre called Childress and told him he's not playing. ESPN's said Favre will play if his shoulder's right.

Having been around Favre a lot over the last decade, I can tell you why these stories happen, and why there's a very good chance both are correct: Because it's hard for him to make up his mind (no crap, Sherlock!), and he keeps his own counsel a good deal of the time, and there are very few "sources close to Favre'' who have a good idea what he's planning to do at a given moment -- and even then, he could change his mind about what he's likely to do.

Good example: Last year, I sat with him for a few hours five days before he signed with the Jets. It was a discussion about everything -- playing, not playing, venom about the Packers' decision to not allow him to come back or start or release him. And when I walked away from that meeting with him, I remember telling someone who knew I'd been around him, "He's going to play hardball with the Packers for a few weeks, at least. One of the reasons is he doesn't want to go to the two teams that want him -- the Bucs or Jets.'' I told a beat-guy friend of mine covering the story: "He's not going to the Jets.'' Eleven days later, he's posing with a Jets' jersey at a press conference. Moral of the story (painful for me because I'm supposed to know the guy, and I keep getting his fate wrong): Write your stories about Favre with a big eraser on the end of your pencil.

People, brace yourselves for a big break-up between me and His Holiness. It's coming, and it is NOT going to be pretty...

2009-05-13T21:22:00.005-04:00

For the past week and a half, I have been rising daily at 5 a.m. to go to boot camp. I wasn't sure about it going in but signed up because Debbie asked if I wanted to do it together and I am nothing if not a supportive friend.

People, I was born to do boot camp. I love it. LOVE it. it's like gym class for adults. Lots of cardio, strength training, plyometric exercises. It's challenging but great. In fact, some days it's really challenging - today as I left I sent the Captain a text suggesting that the instructor was trying to kill me. But after just eight days, I can see changes in my body and I love being done with my daily exercise by 7 a.m.

But getting up at 5 a.m. sucks. Given a robust social calendar lately, I've really been burning the candle at both ends. In the past three nights, I have gotten a total of eight hours of sleep. But for good reasons. Last night, I made my inaugural visit to Citi Field, accompanied by the Captain and the Colonel. The park is beautiful (and kudos to the powers-that-be for rerouting the path from the subway to the stadium), the night was chilly but nice and the game was a good extra-innings Mets victory that featured the first streaker in Citi Field history.

But all this nonstop activity has left me absolutely exhausted. Today I actually awoke at 4:30 a.m. because the Captain needed to be to work by 6. So by mid-afternoon, I felt like I had been awake for two days. I couldn't remember going to boot camp this morning - it seemed like another day. I hope to get some sleep tonight and tomorrow because Friday night features a trip to central Pennsylvania to see a 60-year-old Jerseyan rock his ass off.

This is all a long-winded way of saying I knew it would take something special to get me back on the blog train. And today, my brother provided just the inspiration I needed when he forwarded this gem from a friend.

Too busy to do your own browsing? Here, I'll just take you right to the trainwreck highlight.

Now.

My family has a great sense of humor, and we can be a little wacky. But under no circumstances - and I mean NONE - would this have been considered. Seriously, if someone offered my parents a million dollars to dress up like this, they would have declined.

There is no way those kids aren't on drugs, in porn, or in jail for killing their parents.

Two other sites also made their way to me recently, and they are somewhat related. I'd encourage you to check out Texts From Last Night and What Not To Share. The second one is particularly amusing. I have one Facebook friend whose status updates could fill this entire blog.

But I think This is Why You're Fat remains my favorite web site. Several recent entries have led me to suspect the proprietors of TIWYF might be based in Jersey, including one submission from the Grease Trucks and the previously mentioned Potachos from Stuff Yer Face. Today, they offered the Monte Cristo, one of my favorite diner staples. But they kicked it up a notch, deep frying the entire sandwich and covering it in raspberry preserves and powdered sugar.

It's a real shame we haven't had a nutrition analysis at boot camp. I'd love to list things like this.

2009-05-03T21:51:00.003-04:00

The weather forecast wasn't great - with the likelihood of rain more than 60 percent - but when's the last time a meterologist was right?

Um, today.

During our ferry ride from Staten Island to Battery Park for this year's Bike New York, we realized we were probably in for a soggy day. The Verrazano was almost invisible due to the overcast conditions, as were the Statue of Liberty and lower Manhattan.

Our hope was that the rain would pass quickly and turn into a sunny day, something that happened one of the first years Debbie and I tackled the ride. No such luck for the 2009 edition.

The drizzle picked up steam as we waited in lower Manhattan for the ride to begin. Here's a nice puddle on 6th Avenue at 8 a.m. You can imagine the size of the lakes that had formed in the streets six hours later...

One of the only back-ups we encountered during the day was getting onto the Queensboro (59th Street) Bridge...

which normally would have been annoying but on this day provided a nice respite from the rain...

These things looked ridiculous but I bet this gent's feet were nice and dry at the end of his 42 miles...

Guess whose weren't?

I started the day wearing long pants that held the rain at bay or a while but eventually my legs felt like they were encased in wet saran wrap.

The rain fell steadily throughout the day. At times I would call it a drizzle, at others it was an outright downpour. At times it was raining so hard it was ridiculous and laughable. My uncle and brother were temporarily concerned it might be hailing. But fun was had nonetheless. My brother was riding for the first time and although he's vowed he'll never do this again, I think he's kidding. He did particularly well for a first-timer and my uncle, outfitted with a new bike with 21 functioning gears (as opposed to last year, when he rode the entire 42 miles with two gears) had his best-ever ride.

Eventually, we employed a "just get it done" approach so after a quick break, it was on to tackle the beast, the Verrazano.

The steep, lengthy ride over the bridge was pretty smooth, no small feat given the effort it took to fight the headwinds and pelting rain on the Belt Parkway. Once in Staten Island, the clouds really rolled in, making the bridge almost invisible. But we certainly knew it was there...

Mission complete, I managed a smile despite being as cold and wet as I can remember...

Upon returning to the car, we peeled off as many wet layers as we could without risking an indeceny charge. When I arrived home and started to remove my belongings from the bike bag, I realized everything was soaked through, including my money...

I now have about nine hours to recuperate from today's exercise trauma before I arrive for Day 1 of the boot camp Debbie and I are starting tomorrow. Originally it was supposed to start next Monday but the instructor moved it up a week. I've already warned her I might not be at the top of my game tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.

No matter what, I hope it works out better than things do for poor Scarlet here (and yes, I am a terrible person because this makes me laugh very, very hard)...

2009-04-30T21:59:00.001-04:00

I'm pleased to report I have eaten another item recently featured on This is Why You're Fat: the Potachos...

These are among the highlights at Stuff Yer Face in the Hub City, one of my favorite houses of artery-clogging eats and beers from around the world.

In less positive news, I noticed this yesterday and I am going to make a vow. If His Holiness unretires yet again and goes to the Vikings, I am done. He will be Dead. To. Me. The four statues above the television in Casa Magnolia will meet a fiery fate. The various shirts and jerseys I have will become car-drying rags.

Not dead? These beautiful Bleeding Heart flowers in the Captain's yard...

I can't keep anything alive. Perhaps some of his wisdom will rub off on me...

2009-04-26T18:33:00.001-04:00

The Captain and I spent yesterday wandering around the shore, enjoying the sunshine and visiting friends who had a baby last week. So I was completely unaware of the major development in the land of Gang Green until hours later, when I learned about it while we sat at a seaside bar drinking in the name of charity (as if we need a reason):

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't know if Sanchez is the next coming, but I'm encouraged by what I've seen and read. And I have to say I'm thrilled to see Sanchez so excited to be picked by the Jets.

I thought Gruden said it well: "I compliment them. They're doing whatever they can do to win."

That doesn't mean they will, of course. But it's nice to see them making an effort. And no one said, "It's obvious to me right now that the Jets just don't understand what the draft's all about" this year.

On an unrelated sports note, I have resumed my softball career, joining the boys for our Sunday morning games. Things went well last week, as I pitched nine solid innings to lead our squad to a one-run victory. This week, one of three things happened: 1) I forgot how to throw; 2) my arm has not recuperated from last week's effort; or 3) I should have made a few less contributions in the name of charity yesterday. I'm taking off next week for Bike NY so we'll see if a two-week break solves matters or if I need to consider retiring permanently.

2009-04-20T21:01:00.002-04:00

So the Facebook polls and quizzes continue to fly and I ignore them all. But Clark Kent sent me one that actually piqued my interest. So here it is...

Using ONLY SONG TITLES from ONE artist, cleverly answer the questions below.

First, pick a band/artist: Bruce Springsteen

1. Are you a male or female?
-- Jersey Girl

2. Describe yourself:
-- Born to Run

3. How do you feel about yourself:
-- Happy

4. Describe your last relationship:
--Brilliant Disguise

5. Describe your current relationship situation:
-- My Love Will Not Let You Down

6. Describe your current location:
-- Land of Hope and Dreams

7. Describe where you want to be:
-- Seaside Bar Song

8. Your best friend is:
-- Tougher Than The Rest

9. Your favorite color is:
-- Pink Cadillac

10. You know that:
-- It’s Hard to be a Saint in the City

11. What’s the weather like:
-- Waitin' On A Sunny Day

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called?
-- No Surrender

13. What is life to you:
-- All That Heaven Will Allow

14. What is the best advice you have to give:
-- From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come)

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to:
--Rosalita

This was actually harder than I expected, perhaps due to the volume of Springsteen's musical catalog.

And exactly the sort of time sucker that might help explain why I have yet to complete a whole book, 109 days into the year...

2009-04-16T22:45:00.002-04:00

Someone asked me today if I was ready to list myself under the "Sleeping Geniuses" section, and I have to say, well played. Yes, it's been almost three weeks. Admittedly, I'm a bit under-motivated lately. For starters, a lot of my favorite topics are no more. It's not football season and His Holiness has retired. Le Anne Screiber's wonderful reign of inter-office terror at the Evil Empire is over.

But perhaps it's just that life is good and I have had very little to complain about lately. Hell, I was delayed by my friends at Continental for four hours at one of the country's most boring airports recently and didn't get upset about it. I broke two of my favorite wine glasses and didn't blow a gasket. And I decided to freelance for the beleaguered local paper again this year, even taking a pay cut to do so, without making any sort of stink. What is happening to me???

But I did miss a few important things during my unscheduled hiatus. Most notably, I forgot to read This is Why You're Fat for two weeks, thus missing gems like the Hamburger Cake, the Hot Beef Sundae and the Sausage Fatty. A bad job by me, and I promise I won't let that happen again.

What else...I got a new bike for my birthday, which I took for its inaugural ride today now that the weather is finally no longer complete and utter crap. The ride, predictably, kicked my ass, as is often the case with early season jaunts. But as I returned home, I experienced a moment of zen as one of my favorite songs, "The Reason" by Finger Eleven, hit the iPod. As I floated down the hill along the homestretch toward Casa Magnolia as the sun set, I was weaving back and forth across the street. I'm sure I looked like a dope but I really do not care.

I also took two trips, first to Columbus to catch up with the girls, which was great fun. It's amazing how quickly 20 years can fall by the wayside when you get the gang together...

Then the Captain and I headed west for a quick vacation, to visit some friends and enjoy the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. I'll post an entire wrap-up of that adventure in the next few days, but allow me to tempt you, my long-suffering loyal readers, with the wackiness that was an amazing tulip festival one day followed by a very snowy trip up Mount Rainier less than 24 hours later...

I'll be back soon. I promise.

2009-03-28T21:10:00.002-04:00

I would be much more inclined to participate in this worldwide Earth Hour were it not been scheduled during the NCAA tournament. The event calls for "nonessential lights" to be dimmed. The lights that are bringing Nova-Pitt into my living room are most certainly essential.

But since I won't be turning off the television during this hour, I might as well be on the computer as well and post for the first time in more than a week.

In my third year at OSU (notice the lack of "junior year" used there - that's what happens when it takes five years to complete a four-year degree), I had a wacky housing situation. It actually started the prior spring, when I made arrangements to live with a sorority sister. However, weeks before the quarter ended, said sister announced she was getting married and not returning to school. So I was left high and dry without anywhere to live, as everyone else had made their arrangements. But with a mere three weeks to go before I was due to return to NJ for the summer, I ran into another sister on the sidewalk near campus. She offhandedly asked where I was living the next year and I said I had no idea (if memory serves, I recall being rather nonchalant about this, although I was truly close to having nowhere to live and thus not returning to school). As luck would have it, she and three friends from her hometown had rented a house and needed a fifth roommate. So I gave her a check, got the address and headed home.

And that was the last time I ever spoke to her.

Throughout the summer, I tried to call her. I sent my then-boyfriend, who lived in suburban Columbus, over to campus in the hope of tracking her down. I asked other friends if they had heard from her. All in vain.

So in mid-September, my parents and I loaded up the mini-van and my jeep and headed 500 miles west. Upon arriving in Columbus, we headed to 258 E. 13th Avenue, where I rang the doorbell and announced to the girl who answered the door, "Um, hi. I'm Beth. I'm supposed to live here this year?"

Apparently, sometime during the summer my friend had a falling out with the three other girls and was thus no longer living in the house. But they were still counting on me to live there, so in I moved. The friend non-grata had been replaced by a guy from their hometown named Doug. I had met Doug once the previous year, at a dorm party at about 4 in the morning. In a strange twist, his cousin was marrying the girl who was supposed to live with me that year but bailed to get married.

As you'd expect, Doug and I became great friends. We shared a love of the nightlife and were inseparable. The other three roommates weren't so amused by our antics but that was of little concern to us. Two of them, sisters, were a little nutty and the third was nice enough but never home as her boyfriend lived next door. Eventually, one of them moved out and another girl, Robin, moved in for a few months. She and I also got along famously well.

But things eventually fell apart. Doug, who never actually attended OSU, decided to move home, as did Robin. While I was in NJ for spring break, the sisters moved out, which meant I returned to an empty apartment. Well, empty except for the eviction notice from our landlord, who had visited while we were away and was apparently (and most likely justifiably) less-than-pleased with the conditions he found at 258. I called him and explained that the other roommates, on whom I blamed the mess, had departed and he agreed to let me stay until he found other renters.

Two days later, the apartment was broken into in the middle of the night while I was home alone. Less than 24 hours later, I vacated the premises and moved in with Becky and Sandy. Less than two days after that, my jeep was broken into while parked in their lot overnight. Not my finest week in Columbus.

Anyway, it seems hard to understand how we all lost touch, but this was before the days of cell phones and text messages and e-mail, which made keeping in touch with people more difficult than it is now. I lost track of Robin almost immediately. Doug and I stayed in touch until I left Columbus about two years later, but that was about it.

But this past week, the three of us reconnected thanks to Facebook. And just like that, almost 18 years evaporated. I'm going to Columbus next week and hope to catch up with Doug. It seems he lives around the corner from Becky, with whom I'm staying. Funny how things like that work out...

2009-03-20T10:55:00.004-04:00

So a mere three days after I theatened physical violence should it snow again, I awoke this morning to find it doing that very thing. Happy spring, indeed.

I have an extremely busy day ahead (and by that I mean 12 hours of eating, drinking and watching hoops) so I need to get rolling but I leave you with this...

Since the discovery of This is Why You're Fat several weeks ago, it has become one of my favorite web sites. My brother and I have an ongoing game where I send him the latest posts with something like "there's no way you'd eat this" and he replies, "oh yes I would." Of the 100 or so entries, I think there are only about three things there I would actually eat.

But last night, I ate something that appeared on TISYF ... the Bacon Explosion. People, I am not going to lie to you. It was FANTASTIC.

Earlier this week, Freakgirl and I signed up for boot camp, a four-week program that will have us sweating from 6 to 7 a.m., five days a week. I believe part of this process includes an evaluation of our diet. Won't they be impressed when they hear that in the past 16 hours, in addition to the wonderment above, I enjoyed pizza, Doritos, kettle korn popcorn, cookies, a cupcake, five glasses of wine, some blackberry brandy and breakfast at McDonald's.

Yeah. They are going to LOVE me...

2009-03-17T22:31:00.002-04:00

Last week, while I went to work, the Captain decided to explore one of the local nature preserves. One of the things I like best about him is his love of the outdoors and his ability to take the time to enjoy the beautiful, simple wonders nature can provide. He also has a terrific eye and takes wonderful pictures...

And a video he took of the "spring peepers..."

I can't wait to visit this place in the spring, which if today is any indication, should be right around the corner. So help me, if it snows again I am going to hurt someone. I love winter, but I have had enough.

2009-03-16T15:27:00.004-04:00

Sometime within the last year, while reading about the wonderful Irish band the Pogues, I thought I read somewhere that their infamous lead singer, Shane MacGowan, was finally off the sauce.

Erroneous. Erroneous!!

Well, either that report was incorrect or he has since fallen off the wagon. And gotten run over by it.

Don't get me wrong, Friday's Pogues concert at the Roseland Ballroom was great. Fantastic. But everything I have read about MacGowan's legendary drinking seems to be spot on. He stumbled onto the stage and everything that came out of his mouth that wasn't sung was completely mumbled.

But again, it wasn't enough to ruin the show. The anticipation of "how many more songs will he be able to remain upright" was interesting throughout the evening. He sang the first four songs, then rested for the next one while the band played a jaunty tune sans lyrics. It was then one on, one off for most of the rest of the show, with the band's flute player ably filling in on lead vocals when necessary. MacGowan did finish strong, belting out several tunes during the encore.

I think whoever recorded this video must have been standing in front of me, as this was our exact view, about six rows from the stage...

When Shannon and I went to the Dropkick Murphys concert at the Roseland the Friday before, we were amazed by the hostility in the crowd - incredibly violent slam dancing and moshing. We chalked it up to crazy kids and I figured it would be much calmer at the Pogues, given the generally older fan base.

Again, erroneous.

It just meant then when the older, bigger (read: fatter) kids fell, they fell much harder. I'm sure several concert attendees visited their chiropractors after the show.

And a word about the Roseland Ballroom ... what a fantastic venue. I had never been there but have now been twice in a week. It's a small, old-school dance hall/theater that holds a large-enough crowd to make a show loud and rocking while at the same time feeling like an intimate venue.

Thanks to Wikipedia, I learned the original Roseland was founded in Philly, funded by the fine folks at Yuengling.

Yuengling just gives and gives...

2009-03-13T10:31:00.005-04:00

We were pretty sure it was going to be a good game.

And we were about 10 seconds and 20 dollars from missing it...

-------------------------------------------------

As usual, KJ and I waited until the last minute to make plans for our annual Big East tourney day. Last weekend, I actually told the Captain we might skip it this year.

But at the last minute, KJ got tickets for yesterday afternoon's games from a client, so in we went. Louisville pretty much blew out Providence in the day's first game, prompting me to say to KJ, "I just hope we get to see a close game today."

Which is exactly what we got in the next tilt, when Villanova hit a buzzer beater to top Marquette by one.

As soon as that game ended, we dashed over to Stout, hoping to beat the crowd we knew was coming. We were so efficient we scored seats at the bar, where we parked for the next two hours. Upon our departure, we decided we would make a half-hearted attempt to score tickets for the evening session, knowing that the UConn-Syracuse game had potential to be a good one. We determined the price we were willing to pay and walked across Seventh Ave.

The second our feet hit the sidewalk, we encountered a nattily attired businessman who quietly mentioned he had two tickets. KJ opened the bidding, which he quickly declined. He countered, and she declined. We conferred for about 10 seconds, ready to walk away. But he came back to us with a lower price "as long as we bought him two beers."

So in we went...

The tickets were in the last row, but at mid-court so the seats weren't too bad. But we quickly made our way down to our usual bar to watch WVU top Pitt. Our friends from Pitt, bitter about the loss, were leaving the arena so we took their tickets so we could sit in their seats for the day's final game. But we realized our seats from the afternoon had been filled by Pitt fans who also left, so we wound up back in our original seats in the lower section. The friends we had made in the afternoon seemed happy about our return, which was good, given that we'd be spending the next three hours and 26 minutes with them...

The game was tight throughout and overtime always seemed like a possibility. But no one could have imagined we would be sitting there for SIX overtimes. As someone said on ESPN this morning: "It was the game you didn't want to see end, but were afraid never would."

When Syracuse hit the three as time expired in regulation, everyone in the building knew it was unlikely the shot was good. But because the Garden would not show the replay while the officials were conferring, no one knew for sure. The Professor, watching at home, sent me a text that read: "No good."

And indeed it was not and off to OT we went...

and went...

and went...

and went...

It was amazing. The energy in the arena, which remained quite full, was palpable. It's one thing to witness sports history. It's another to know it's happening as you're watching it. At one point, KJ nudged me, pointed upward and said: "You don't see that everyday." The scoreboard read 100-100. Eventually, the number under Period read 8. Usually you get 2. Maybe 3 if you're lucky...

As the sixth overtime started, we began to discuss the train situation. Any Jerseyan who visits NYC on a regular basis (and enjoys the nightlife) knows the last train out departs at 1:41 a.m. The sixth overtime started at 1:07 a.m. and we figured a seventh overtime, should there be one, would make the 1:41 train unlikely. But there was no way we were leaving, so contigency plans were discussed.

But ultimately unnecessary. Neither team had any legs left and UConn completely lost the ability to shoot from the outside. With their big men fouled out and no inside game as a result, Syracuse pulled away and finally the second-longest game in NCAA history ended at 1:22 a.m.

We safely made the 1:41 train, where I ran into a former co-worker. I arrived home at 3:15 a.m. and am exhausted today. But it was completely worth it...

2009-03-10T23:43:00.001-04:00

It's been a week since I posted? Cripes. Here's the best I can do for now ... the briefest of updates:

Dropkick Murphys = great

Crowd at Dropkick Murphys = mesmerizing/violent

The sweet potato fries at Stout prior to the show = heavenly

Work = crazy

Mary Poppins and NYC with Adam J = fabulous

Bike NY training = underway

Spring Lake 5 training = underway

Big East hoops = Thursday

Life in general = excellent

Perhaps I'll provide more information about some of these topics soon. No guarantees.

2009-03-03T20:45:00.007-05:00

I opened an e-mail from Ticketmaster recently that advertised, among other artists, Led Zeppelin. That's one band I have never seen and while it would not be the same as seeing them in the band's 70s heyday, I'd be interested in doing so.

Then I realized the band in question is actually called Lez Zeppelin. Call me crazy, but I'm guessing they are not the same thing.

And I should probably start wearing my glasses more often...

Last year, I saw a grand total of four concerts (Rush and three Springsteen shows). This year, I will have seen that many before the year is halfway through. In addition to a Springsteen show in May (one in Hershey, Pa., instead of N.J. thanks to the Ticketmaster/TicketsNow debacle), I also have tickets to the Dropkick Murphys, the Pogues and Amadou et Mariam.

I am looking forward to all of the shows but am particularly excited about the Amadou et Mariam concert. I was first introduced to the African artists by a clerk at the Amoeba Records in Los Angeles several years ago. That CD, "Dimanche a Bamako," has become one of my favorites - perhaps top 10 of all time. The lyrics are in French and I cannot understand a single word of it and it doesn't matter at all. It's absolutely joyous. I can't help dancing to it, even when doing mundane tasks like cleaning the house. I can't wait to see them live.

Speaking of dancing...I can't pinpoint why, but I REALLY enjoy this video of Digger Phelps cutting a rug during a timeout during a recent Cal-UCLA game. Perhaps because he not letting his lack of smooth moves stop him from dancing with reckless abandon. I don't know, but I love it:

2009-03-01T06:56:00.003-05:00

In light of yesterday's newspaper-related post...

I found this on a forum I visit. It's almost surreal:

Hard to believe that less than 30 years ago, "Owns Home Computer" was worthy of a tag in a news clip...

2009-02-28T16:55:00.008-05:00

Last Sunday I had a rare day with no plans, so I went to the store and bought four newspapers. As far as I'm concerned, there is no better way to spend a quiet Sunday morning than slowly pouring through a newspaper (or four).

I spent a fair amount of time in the greater Denver area several years ago and always read the Rocky Mountain News instead of the Denver Post. My then-boyfriend was friendly with several of their writers and I preferred their columnists (not to mention its tabloid format). I once wrote one of their columnists a letter that ambled on for 1,167 words (he was a fellow OSU alum who wrote about the hiring of Jim Tressel and I took exception with some of his thoughts. He actually responded to my crazy rambling and did not use the words, "I have contacted the authorites," for which he should be commended).

So, even though the entire newspaper industry is in disarray, this week's news that the Rocky would cease publication 55 days shy of its 150th anniversary (making it, according to several sources, the oldest business in Colorado) was shocking and heartbreaking. The Rocky is (was) a damn good paper, one with some 225,000 subscribers. Earlier this week, the paper's sports section was honored by the Associated Press Sports Editors as one of the 10 best in the nation, a huge honor.

Its employees were told on Thursday that the final paper would be printed Friday. They then, in an incredible display of professionalism and dedication, put out a final paper and a 52-page commemorative wrap-around section.

It makes me wonder how our local paper, for which I have written on and off for 15 years, which I have been reading since it was an afternoon paper in the 1970s, and where I have met many of my closest friends, some of whom continue to toil there, can continue to exist. It's a depressing but increasingly imminent possibility. I know I spend a fair amount of time bitching about the local paper, but that bitching is almost without fail referring to the business side of the paper. And that's what is killing newspapers around the country. The business model is failing.

There is a video on the Rocky's site about the paper's demise and eventual death. It's long, and hard to watch, particularly for those I know who have made journalism their life's work. But it is certainly worth watching.

Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.

2009-02-26T10:02:00.003-05:00

I don't know about you, but I am pretty tired of looking at that damn bathing suit. My apologies.

No, I have not forgotten I have a blog. But I have been having trouble finding time for it and that's not going to get any better anytime soon...

For the last few years, I have used a back door to bypass the office network's firewall to access my personal e-mail. That ended Monday, when the powers-that-be slammed that door shut. So now, in addition to not being able to blog while in the office, I can no longer check personal e-mail. (As an aside, I understand why this is and am not arguing with it. It is just an inconvenience.)

The result of this has been that when I get home at night, I have to deal with e-mail instead of dazzling my countless readers with witty, insightful commentary. Now that I don't check e-mail throughout the day, I realize just how many messages I actually receive each day. Thanks to a social outing Monday night (and might I note, staying up until 2:30 a.m. on a Monday night is not the most responsible way to start a week, although it was lots of fun), I went from Monday morning to Tuesday evening without checking e-mail and I had more than 50 messages awaiting me when I finally got around to it.

But I am going to free up some time in other ways. For instance, it has taken less than a month for me to determine that CSI without Grissom is not worth watching. That's one more hour free per week.

Several hours I will continue to waste are those I spend watching Mike and Mike in the Morning. Several times each morning, two commercials are played repeatedly. The first is for something called the Slap Chop. This guy is so annoying I want to reach through the television and punch him in the temple:

The other commercial is for something called the Magic Jack. I can't find a video of that one, for which you should be grateful. Incredibly irritating.

Yes, I laughed heartily upon seeing this picture. I'm sure that makes some sort of statement about my maturity (or lack thereof)...

(For the record, the caption was: A Celebes Crested Macaque, left, looks back on Thursday Jan. 29, 2009 in Singapore where its national zoo is actively involved in the conservation and education of wildlife reserves.)

By the way, I can't believe it's almost March. Where the hell does time go...

2009-02-21T14:36:00.005-05:00

First, there was the bikini. Then the tankini. Now, the monokini. Or, as I'll be calling it, the what.the.fuck-ini:

This does not look comfortable or functional. Or good. It is unflattering, even to a model who probably weighs 120 pounds and is a size 2 and certainly did not have wine and cheese doodles for dinner last night. But enough about me.

And really, what's with the boogie board? As if. She'll be lucky to walk four feet in that get-up without a wardrobe malfunction. She is not engaging in any water sports dressed that way.

2009-02-20T07:25:00.005-05:00

The 2009 Self Challenge, a program designed to track eating and exercise, started yesterday so I signed up yet again. This is an annual dance - I sign up, participate for several weeks, tracking everything I eat and all of my workouts, then give up after a month. But I have truly been making more of an effort lately so I decided to give it another go.

I can only imagine what the system thought when I entered last night's dinner: a half-order of white cheddar mac and cheese, with a side of sweet potato fries and three Guinness. It should be particularly impressed when I make a visit to Steve's tomorrow night...

Speaking of food, there is another blog on the Genius list. I met Sarah through a mutual friend and always enjoy hanging with her, which we don't get to do enough. She is writing about the challenges of being a hard-core foodie on a diet at Confessions of a Foodie.

2009-02-17T21:52:00.003-05:00

The good folks at The Big Lead brought a gem of a web site into my life last week: This is why you're fat. As far as I'm concerned, web sites do not get much better.

That I have an affinity for culinary crap no doubt helps my enjoyment of this site and I have to admit that some of the things on this web site look terrific. Personally, I would most likely eat some of the dessert items, such as the Deep Fried S'more on a Stick or 60-pound Rice Krispie treat.

My brother, who eats almost anything, really enjoys this site. He estimated he would eat 90 percent of the items featured, including the Garbage Plate and Loosiana Gator Dog. Our favorite was the Meat Ship. Just click on the link. You won't regret it. Be sure to take note of the hot dog rudder.

That is not to say these are all winners. Some are awful. In particular, people do some terrible things with bacon. And this is just wrong.

The full archive of artery-blocking wonderment can be found here.

But "This is why you're fat" is not the only new addition to the list of Geniuses...

Back in the day, I was friendly with a girl named Kelly - she lived around the corner and we played hoops together and attended a shady basketball camp in the Poconos one summer. Then I went to public high school and she went to Catholic school and we completely lost touch. For about 25 years.

Then Facebook (and some classic photos of us with highly questionable mid-80s hairstyles - Annie-perm for me; a tail for her) brought us back together. It didn't take long for me to realize that she is one of the funniest human beings I know. Not a giggle or witty anecdote here or there funny. Sides hurting, worried about wetting myself funny. And now, she has a blog.

Her 2008 Christmas letter, which she actually distributed, will give you a nice glimpse into why I almost pulled something due to laughter while conversing with her earlier this week. It has also provided an inspiration and I assure you I'll be stealing that idea later this year.

These two additions were part of a minor overhaul to Wine by the Color. You might notice that a new category has been added - Sleeping Geniuses. I am not giving up on these five bloggers completely, but considering that their last post dates were Nov. 4, Sept. 22, July 16, June 2 and Feb. 13 (of last year), I don't expect much from them anytime soon.

2009-02-16T22:47:00.002-05:00

When I was constantly traveling for work, I did not have a great appreciation for the concept of a three-day weekend. My irregular schedule featured lots of working weekends on the road, and because I often had random days off as a result of the travel, also made working a full work week a rarity.

But now that I have a regular schedule for the first time in 13 years, although I am very much enjoying my new job, I find that weekends actually mean something and the three-day weekend is something to be particularly savored.

And that is exactly what I did this weekend. I caught up with lots of friends for a few entertaining social gatherings, including a Valentine's Day luncheon with the girls, saw a tremendous hockey game with my brother and cousins, went shopping with my sister-in-law, got in a few runs on the boardwalk and enjoyed some arcade time with the crazies (during which, I feel it is important to note, I broke the 200,000-point barrier on Galaga for the first time ever).

A few pictures...

Matthew, like any Jersey shore boy, really loves his air hockey...

I'm starting to teach him how to play hoops. He's short, but scrappy...

Perhaps the next Brett Favre? I mean, was His Holiness scoring this like at age 5?

I cannot say for certain what is going on here, but I'm pretty sure Sweetie Pie Princess is using her finest little girl profanity...

Say it with me ... TROUBLE...

Look everyone - we are getting along!!

I can't wait until summer when I will actually be home every weekend. I am already excited at the thought of spending weekends at the shore. While I loved the travel and the perks that came with it, that has been a serious downside to the last eight years...

2009-02-14T08:27:00.000-05:00

2009-02-11T21:31:00.005-05:00

In my 38 years as a rabid sports fan, I can point to three true highlights...

-the Mets' last two victories over the Red Sox in the 1986 World Series
-Ohio State’s national championship victory over Miami in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl
-the 10-day stretch last fall during which the Jets beat the Patriots in New England and the then-unbeaten Titans in Tennessee

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Since the season ended, several people have asked if I was sorry the Jets had ever signed Brett Lorenzo Favre.

No. No I am not.

Did he turn out to be the Jets' savior? No. Did he carry them to the top and ride off in a blaze of glory? Um, no. But I didn't expect those things.

What I did get was to watch the Jets improve from 4-12 to 9-7. I got to watch them win two games they would not have won without Favre. I got to be excited to be a Jets’ fan, if only for a few weeks.

More than anything, I had the opportunity to watch my favorite athlete of all time play on my favorite team. On opening day, I sat in a Wisconsin bar and watched every local in the joint root for Favre and the Jets. Eight times this year, I got to sit in the stands and watch His Holiness in action. Knowing it was likely it would be a one-season fling, I took special care to savor every moment he was in the game. I watched tap his feet to the stadium music while sitting on the sidelines. I frequently borrowed Mikey’s binoculars to get a closer view of him working the huddles.

And yes, I drove by his house.

All that said, am I sorry to see him retire now?

No. No I am not.

From here, I think things can only get worse. I don’t see Favre lifting the Jets to the Super Bowl anytime soon. I can, however, picture him limping off the field after yet another interception, hanging on too long and forever soiling the reputation he worked so hard to build. The last thing I want is for the image of a broken-down star playing past his prime, particularly in a Jets uniform.

So yes, I’m okay with how it all worked out. Would I have preferred the Jets had won more than one of their last five games (particularly the one against Seattle, during which I said some hurtful things and flung my #4 jersey across the room, two things for which I am deeply apologetic) and made the playoffs? Sure. Would I have preferred that Favre not throw a league-high 22 interceptions? Of course. Would I rather he had been out in the front yard the day I drove by his house? No doubt.

But overall, you’ll hear no complaints from me.

2009-02-09T22:54:00.001-05:00

Okay, let's recap our vacation before my tan fades completely...

We departed from Bayonne, which was great for two reasons: we did not have to go through the hassle and expense of flying the entire crew to Florida, and the departure provided some spectacular views of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge at dusk...

But the northern departure meant a few cold, somewhat bouncy days at sea. So during our first few days, we entertained ourselves with a variety of activities. I caught up on a lot of reading, as did Sweetie Pie Princess, first with her older brother...

Then doing it for herself...

(While I'm pleased by her choice in reading material, one can only hope she didn't notice the horrifying error in that week's issue ... WHO'S GAME IS IT? ... I can't even talk about that ... for crap's sake, you're Sports Illustrated, you're supposed to be better than that ... let's move on before I lose focus.)

Meanwhile, their brother ate his way through the cruise, scarfing escargot and caviar like a seasoned foodie...

We finally made our first stop, in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Our whole crew left the ship to stretch our legs with a walk around town and a little shopping...

From there, it was on to St. Thomas, where we visited an aquatic zoo. You'd never guess that the face on the left was vomiting on a bus (while sitting on my lap, such adventure!!) two hours earlier (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the caviar and escargot)...

It was then on to the Dominican Republic, which brings us to the crab. Shortly after our arrival on the beach, this litte guy scampered right up to me. And I have to admit, I was excited. Despite many years on many beaches in many places, I have never seen anything like this.

Not surprisingly, he disappeared just as quickly, never to be seen again. But the Dominican Republic provided a lot simple beauty like that. What little we saw of the country was lovely. I would like to return to do some fishing and biking.

We got a close-up view of our cruise ship as we returned...

and enjoyed a stunning rainbow from our balcony as showers sporadically fell all day...

And about two hours later, our ship hit something.

What it hit is still in debate. Could have been a whale, could have been some sort of undetected coral reef. But the net result was the loss of a propeller (essentially an engine), which would seriously curtail the speed at which the boat could travel. The bottom line was we would be skipping our last island and returning to NJ without a stop at Labadee.

That was a bummer, but not enough to ruin the trip. We spent the last days eating, drinking, enjoying the last of the warmth and sunshine before returning to the shores of Jersey, arriving along the lower Manhattan skyline at sunrise...

All in all, a lovely vacation...

2009-02-05T22:17:00.001-05:00

I know. It has been five days and no vacation wrap-up. What can I say - I have been busy with work, social outings and trips to the gym. Oh, and P.S. I Love You is in heavy rotation on HBO so that sucks up a lot of time as well. Because I apparently like to torture myself.

Anyway, I will work on vacation photos this weekend. The crazy trifecta is spending the night at Casa Magnolia on Saturday so while they slumber I will work on recounting our trip. Here is another picture to whet your appetite...

In the meantime...

I probably spend too much time on Facebook. Actually, that's not true. I KNOW I spend too much time on Facebook. Time I often think I should spend reading or writing or learning something - French, how to sew, what-have-you. Instead, I get sucked in for hours at a time, catching up with friends old and new, and then feel a bit guilty about the time I fear I have wasted.

But then, something amazing happens and makes me want to give Facebook a big, wet kiss.

In college, my sorority big sister was named Missy. We were like sisters both in terms of personality - she was a little crazy and super fun - and looks. Although this picture doesn't really capture it, we looked so alike that when I used her ID to get into bars, which I did for the first 2.5 years of college (sorry Mom and Dad), I was never questioned.

We spent a ton of time together my freshman year before she left school to return to her northern Ohio town. She visited Columbus once or twice after that but we then drifted apart. She got married and I moved back to Jersey and we completely lost touch. Before the days of e-mail and the internet, that happened a lot.

I have spent the last 17 years trying to find her. Not remembering her married name made that quite difficult. But every once in a while, I would search classmates.com or our collegiate alumni site in the hope she would magically appear. Just a month ago, I posted a photo of a bunch of us from the house on Facebook. Someone asked if I knew where she was, to which I replied: "I haven't talked to Missy in YEARS. I've tried to find her but have had no luck!"

Tonight, she found me.

I almost leapt off the couch when I opened the alert to learn she had added me as a friend. I quickly logged onto to Facebook, accepted her friend request and sent her a note. And thus ensued a barrage of messages, filled with catching up, laughs and memories. I cannot properly capture how happy finding each other has made me.

It was a nice reminder that my time there is not at all wasted.

By the way, I still have her old ID. It has always been one of my favorite collegiate mementos.

Cripes, I am a sap. I need to go watch some boxing or listen to some Metallica...

2009-02-01T20:38:00.001-05:00

I was essentially computer-free for 10 days and have spent most of the day catching up on e-mail and internet reading. A few friends sent along some links while I was away, to keep me abreast of important news, which I greatly appreciate...

-Herm fired. Does this mean his Coors Light commercial featuring "You play to win the game" will air during tonight's game?

-Four people sent me this letter of complaint to Virgin Airlines. Splendid. I thank you all.

-New Jersey - The Hidden State of Culture. Excellent.

-A snowy Script Ohio. Love it. Inspiring.

And here are a few things I found while reading 10 days worth of the Internet today...

-A very good question from NJ Monthly Magazine: Who's Covering New Jersey?

-An interview with Le Anne Screiber.

-I used to read Bill Simmons religiously. I even exchanged a few e-mails with him several years ago. I don't read him as much anymore but am very happy I came across this one. A warning: grab a tissue.

By the way, the number of Freecycle e-mails waiting for me? 1,717.

Vacation chatter, including an obscene number of photos, to come soon. Here's a preview, a shot of a friend I made in the Dominican Republic...

2009-01-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

Quickly, before I depart for the high seas and warmer temperatures...

I joined Freecycle a few weeks ago, in the hope of finding a good home for my old coffee table and kitchen table and chairs. My sister-in-law warned me that some of the items people try to get rid of are ridiculous. I did not realize just what she meant until I checked the postings yesterday and found, among hundreds of other things, the following: an artificial pre-lit Christmas tree (not working), a Siamese cat, the top of a papasan chair, a manual breast pump (like new), breast pads and 13 OB tampons.

The tampons, it should be noted, were claimed within two hours.

When I get back from vacation, I am going to amass a pile of unwanted things and start posting on Freecycle. I bet I could write some enticing descriptions for my crap.

Of course, I'll be lucky to find time to do so, given that it will probably take me several hours to get through all the e-mails I will have upon my return. Nine days without e-mail is a frightening proposition. But I'll do my best.

Bon voyage...

2009-01-22T10:35:00.005-05:00

I have been trying to curtail my Facebook status updates lately. Rather than make people there aware of how strange I am, I will do it here...

Jersey Girl is trying not to vomit while watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, as our host watches Chileans cut the balls off bulls and cook them up and then eats them. And really enjoys them. And drinks blood.

Jersey Girl thinks her new favorite show might be Man Vs. Food.

Jersey Girl has to get packing, as she leaves for a nine-day vacation tomorrow and has yet to do a damn thing.

Jersey Girl is probably dragging her heels because trying on summer clothes in the middle of winter (and the winter eating and drinking) is never an encouraging endeavor.

Jersey Girl is pondering whether it is time to have short hair again.

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Last Saturday, I took two-thirds of the crazy trio to Deb and Randy's open house. Their eldest sibling was sick and none too happy about being left home. But the other two greatly enjoyed themselves. Sweetie Pie Princess quickly made herself at home, nary a shy bone in her body. Matthew was a little more hesitant in the crowd, but found a comfortable spot with the other kids in the extra bedroom, home of the classic Atari and a pile of art supplies. While I bounced around to keep an eye on his sister, he sat quiety, working on a project...

When he was done coloring the popsicle sticks with a blue marker, his hands were completely blue. There was also glue involved, always a dangerous endeavor for a five year old. But when he proudly handed it to me and announced, "it's me and you," he ensured I would not give him a hard time about the mess.

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I will try to post again before I leave tomorrow but no guarantees. In the meantime, here are a few links I have enjoyed lately:

Why is Peyton Manning such a good pitchman? Great question.

My idol is at it again: ESPN guilty of teller becoming the tale.

But extremely sad news: her triumphant reign is soon to end.

The Jets finally hired a new coach, and this one is older than me. The transcript of his press conference, which seemed entertaining. He showed more personality in 10 minutes than Mangini did in three years.

We want to be known as the most physical football team in the NFL, and whatever that means, you figure it out. We’re going to take care of each other. The players will have each other’s backs. If you take a swipe at one of ours, we’ll take a swipe at two of yours, and that’s just the way this game is going to be played.

I do like the sound of that. Let's not forget, this is the son of a man who once punched another coach. For the same team (see #5 and please ignore the first item on that list)...

Finally, this boggles my mind. I don't want to disparage His Holiness' home state, but how can this still be happening?

2009-01-18T11:24:00.006-05:00

So the latest thing all the kids on Facebook are doing is posting Twenty-five Random Things, in which you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. I have no interest in doing so on Facebook because I have a few colleagues and random folks on my friends list who don't need to know everything about me. But you, loyal readers, are different...

25 Random Things About Me
1. There is nothing more important to me than family and friends.
2. Sports and music are close behind.
3. I have had the same best friend since I was two years old.
4. My next cup of coffee will be my first.
5. The first time I ever tried Guinness was at the Guinness factory in Dublin, Ireland (Dec. 2007). They had me at hello.
6. I have gotten in enough trouble over the years to ensure I will never run for public office, but not so much that I should have been incarcerated.
7. There is nothing more important to me in relationships than honesty and trust.
8. I did not eat red meat for 12 years (1991-2003).
9. I played quarterback for my sorority flag football team, which advanced to the league championship final, which was played on the field in Ohio Stadium.
10. My blood pressure is always at its lowest when my toes are in the sand.
11. I am fascinated by natural disasters.
12. The first concert I ever saw was the Hooters and the Outfield at Rutgers on Nov. 25, 1985.
13. I saw my first Springsteen show on July 18, 1999 and saw my 20th last summer at the Meadowlands.
14. As you might be able to guess, I have the ticket stub for almost every concert and sporting event I have ever attended.
15. My seven favorite days of the year are Thanksgiving, Thursday of the Big East basketball tournament, Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, the Jets' home opener, the Fourth of July and the first two days of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
16. I could see Mamma Mia on Broadway every month and never get tired of it.
17. I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life."
18. I drove by His Holiness's house when he was living in Jersey.
19. I don't tell my parents anywhere near enough how grateful and lucky I am that they are my parents. The same applies to my brother and sister-in-law.
20. My five favorite movies are "Shawshank Redemption," "Dazed and Confused," "Sixteen Candles," "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and "Love Actually."
21. I love fishing.
22. I once organized a huge fundraiser in college and managed to get the local television station to cover it, but was unable to appear on camera because I had a spectacular fall the night before the event and was sporting a black eye and broken face.
23. I have been to 45 states.
24. I do not like foods that are prepared together - like stew or casseroles - and I really do not care for shredded meats.
25. My greatest skill is being an aunt.

2009-01-16T20:37:00.006-05:00

Back in college, the girls and I used to go out frequently during the week but usually stayed home on Saturday nights.

Many years later, I seem to have reverted back to that routine. Three nights out on the town this week have left me curled up on the couch on this bitterly cold Friday night, cozy in my fleece sweatpants, trying to stay awake until 10 p.m.

But the late nights and lack of sleep were worth it. Tuesday night, I went out with my oldest and dearest friend, who I had not seen in a few weeks. KJ and I have for years amused ourselves recounting the night someone we know got very, very, very angry at her husband and confronted him in a local bar ... while wearing her slippers. I would be hard-pressed to count how many times we have told this tale, which only gets better as the years pass.

Well, the other night, a group of us, including the couple in question, were hanging out at the same bar, some 15 years later. As the evening wore on, we were sitting around telling stories from the old days. And, for the very first time, the two of them recounted the story for us all, unaware of how many of us were actually in the establishment that night. To her credit, his wife has a very good sense of humor about it now.

Last night, I met one of my college roommates for dinner, which went on for four hours. I am sure our waitress did not appreciate our parking it at the table, but we had a lot to catch up on. And during the evening, a few glasses of wine into it, she finally admitted the pepto-bismol pink dress she made me wear as a bridesmaid was not as beautiful as she once thought. It was a well-earned admission 15 years in the making...

----------------------------------------------------

This Bad Driver calendar is an ongoing source of joy...

Hitting a Parked Car

It’s an all-too-familiar story, and if it hasn’t already happened to you, one day it will. You’re driving along, or maneuvering into a tight parking spot, and CRUNCH, another car seemingly leaps into your path from out of nowhere. You search in vain for the other driver, then realize there is no other driver because the car you hit was parked.

What do you do?

Step 1. Before rushing into an ill-considered course of action, a responsible driver should ask several important questions:

A: Did anyone see you (If the answer is “no,” skip directly to Step 2)
B: Is the car you hit an expensive car? (If “yes,” go back and make damn sure you answered Question A correctly)

Step 2: Drive away

I wonder if my cable company would allow me to pay on a per-channel basis. I have realized I only watch The Travel Channel and ESPN (in spite of myself, of course) and am no doubt spending a whole lot of money on things I never watch.

Speaking of the Evil Empire, I wonder what sort of hate mail Le Anne Schreiber gets in her interoffice correspondence. I should start sending her love letters.

It suggests that every time ESPN becomes its own story, intentionally or not, fans feel the kingdom of sports is in ever greater danger of being usurped by its messenger.

Indeed.

2009-01-12T22:48:00.005-05:00

I have two daily calendars on my desk for 2009. The first, "Life is Crap" is self-explanatory, offering cartoons about life gone wrong. While that sounds promising, it is the other, "The Bad Drivers' Handbook," that may prove to be the real winner of these two.

The Bad Drivers' calendar promises that "each day presents a new tongue-in-cheek observation on bad driving habits such as intimidating pedestrians, turn signals (why surrender the element of surprise?), and tailgating (how close is close enough?)."

When I bought one for my brother for Christmas, I was intrigued enough by that description to buy one for myself. And it has not disappointed ... to wit, this entry from last week:

Pedestrians

When considering the so-called rights of pedestrians, a good question to ask is: Who pays for the roads you travel on? Who pays to construct them? Who pays to maintain them? The answer, which should be painfully obvious whenever you fill up your tank with gas a price unreasonably inflated by taxes, is: You do! And yet you are forced to share your roads with pedestrians. And they always get the right of way! Why is that? You’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re faster. It is, not surprisingly, because of the espresso-drinking fascists at the DMV.

They had me at hello...

2009-01-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

Part of the objective of the Great Photo Project...

is organizing and eliminating countless boxes of photos and other assorted personal mementos. Things that haven't been looked at for so long they were covered in dust. Last night, I opened a box that included 38 years worth of letters...

When I opened the box, I thought, "You can probably get rid of most of this." I mean, how long does one need to hold on to old correspondence?

Then I found letters from my parents and grandparents when I was in college. Notes I passed during class in high school. Letters from my brother and high school friends. Letters from old boyfriends. All handwritten notes, before the days of e-mail.

Total number of those that got thrown out: about 3 (of roughly 1,000)

The other half of that plastic box contained this...

a Christmas card from my parents from 1972, a birthday card from my great-grandparents, another from my brother when he was a year old, a Valentine's Day card from my father when I was about 13, a birthday card from my best friend when we were about 6.

You can guess how many of those got tossed.

It would appear I am a total sap. But a sap with a treasure trove of memories...

2009-01-07T23:19:00.003-05:00

I have a sense of humor that many people would probably consider strange. Except my friends, which is exactly why they are my friends. But things that "normal" people might find offensive or non-humorous are right up my alley. If I had a dollar for every time my mother shook her head and wondered where her real daughter is, I wouldn't have to go to work tomorrow. Or ever again.

Years ago, I read this story on The Onion. I can't tell you why, but it really hit my funny bone. I realize it's satire and intended to be humorous, but this goes above and beyond. The line, "But, from a purely tactical standpoint, this is absurd," makes me absolutely SNORT with laughter.

So today, I came across this. Obviously, this is terrible. No one wants to be saturated in urine. But just look at the guy's mug shot. That smile on his face has had me in stitches all day. It says, "well, sure I dumped urine on her. What of it?"

And there's a reason Florida (residents of Venice and Lakeland not included) has its own tag on Fark...crazy damn people.

2009-01-06T06:47:00.000-05:00

Mets.

Jets.

Buckeyes.

I challenge anyone to match that disastrous trifecta of sports support in the past four months...

2009-01-04T14:16:00.001-05:00

From our ongoing "and people wonder why newspapers are dying" series...

Yesterday, the following appeared in the local paper. I won't include the byline that accompanied said prose, because I like him and have a lot of respect for him and I am almost certain this wasn't his idea...

To Our Readers

Starting Sunday, Jan. 4, you will notice some changes in your newspaper.

Due to economic recession, the Courier News has been forced to cut expenses, including the amount of newsprint it uses.

In our Sunday TV Book, we no longer will have a cover story in the section, and we removed the individual grids for Sunday morning, afternoon and evening, as well as the grids for Saturday morning, afternoon and late night.

Some additional sports listings can now be found on page 3 of the section, and updated sports-related television listings can be found in our Sports section seven days a week.

We will continue to offer our expanded evening television grid, with show highlights, in the daily newspaper Monday to Saturday.

In addition, detailed, consistently updated television listings also can be found on our Web site, MyCentralJersey.com. Newly updated features on the site provide more details on each show, along with pictures and related information on actors and more.

On Sunday, we are also introducing a new books page to the Sunday Courier News. That page will appear in the Community Life section.

By my estimation, this was nine inches of copy to discuss a change in television listings. The entire usefuleness of which, given that every television in America has a station guide available, could rightly be questioned.

Oh, and how did I see this? Because the newspaper, which I canceled Dec. 3, is still being delivered.

The paper has also called me seven times in the last three days. You know, to get me to re-subscribe to the paper they are still delivering...

While reading Friday's free paper, the following head/subhead jumped off page A-3 at me...

Woman plans to marry
The only thing she's missing is a man

Indeed.

2009-01-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

I return to work tomorrow for the first time since Dec. 23 and am already imagining the alarm will more or less feel like being shot.

But it's been an enjoyable break. In particular, 2009 has gotten off to a great start. New Year's Eve was spent with The Captain and many of his friends. We started our evening at a terrific hibachi/sushi restaurant, where I tried quite a few new foods. We then headed to their local bar, where they rented out the upstairs for festivites that lasted late into the evening. You can guess how that worked out:

No, those are not sober faces. But they are faces that had a great time and as a result slept until 12:15 p.m. the following day. And then napped throughout the rest of the day. But the face on the left had it back together by the following morning, which was good as my social calendar had a large red circle around it.

For years, the Sandman has talked about his "band practice" on Friday nights. Most of the others in our group of friends have questioned the legitimacy of this musical outfit, given that we have never met any of the other musicians and they never play any actual gigs.

Imagine my dual discovery that a) there is indeed a band and b) they do not suck.

It wasn't Zeppelin or the Beatles, to be sure. But the motley crew of musicians, most of whom were in the Sandman's father's age range, created an overall enjoyable musical experience, working through a solid playlist (including a great version of "Jersey Girl" dedicated to yours truly).

More notably, this group brought a tremendous amount of shtick. Seriously, this group needs its own television show. I don't know where to begin. I'll simply say it was a cast of characters the likes of which I have rarely come across. They kept questioning my sanity, asking if I was sure I wanted to be there, and certain I'd never return. Oh, I'll be back. I see myself making regular appearances.

But the real revelation of the night was experiencing the Sandman's musical talents in action. I knew he was musically inclined - I've been enjoying his kareoke skills for years and knew he could play some instruments. But he has incredible talent, particularly on the drums. I was mesmerized watching him play. It's always amazing to watch someone you have known for years do something you had no idea they possessed in their skill set. I have already started pestering him about why he hasn't pursued a career in music. As any good Jewish man would do, he's somehow blaming his mother...

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The one thing I have not done thus far in 2009 is make a lengthy list of goals. As you may recall, last year I compiled a list of 25 goals for the year. Let's look at how those worked out...

Last year, I resolved to...
1. work less (outright failure until October; much better since)
2. dance more (I do a lot of dancing in Casa Magnolia and The Captain humored me by dancing with me in an Atlantic City bar a week ago; otherwise, not so much)
3. read one book per week (my biggest failure of the year - finished with nine. Not even one per month. Shameful)
4. lose at least one pound (success)
5. see as many Springsteen/E Street Band concerts as my time and finances allow (moderate success, with three shows; room for improvement in 2009)
6. write the second chapter of my book (started another book after what we like to call the Jerry Springer Episode of my life hit in early October, so I'll give myself an incomplete here)
7. shave 10 minutes off my 2007 Spring Lake Five time (eliminated six. A success, as far as I'm concerned)
8. ride my bike at least 700 miles (I stopped counting sometime in June. But I did well)
9. visit at least two new countries (went to Scotland)
10. knock three more states off my to-visit list (made it to two - Mississippi and Alabama - leaving five to go in my quest for all 50)
11. make strides toward finishing the world's slowest masters' degree (zero strides made)
12. consider getting Easy Pass (I only vow to consider it. I'm still not sure I want The Man to be able to track my every vehicular movement). (I considered it. I declined.)
13. maintain a low, healthy blood pressure regardless of what happens on Jan. 7. (I did manage to keep myself under control as Ohio State lost its second national title game in a row. Overall, I did a pretty good job when watching sports. Until the Jets-Seahawks game two weeks ago. Not my finest moment. Let's move on...)
14. finally clean the damn walk-in closet (I did this several times this year. And I'm sure I'll do it again in 2009)
15. start playing basketball again. (I tried, at one point signing up for a league. Which was canceled due to lack of interest)
16. do more camping (zilch)
17. stay out of McDonald's, particularly between the hours of 7 and 11 a.m. (Had I known they were opening a McDonald's four miles down the road in January of '08, I would NEVER have included this on the list. failure, but not my fault)
18. bring the crazy nephews to Shea Stadium and Coney Island's Astroland, both in their final year (Shea 2, Coney Island 0; but I understand Coney Island will live another year)
19. make a major appliance purchase. (another no, although that process is well underway for new kitchen appliances and should be completed in 01/09)
20. start to learn French (nyet)
21. consider writing a fan letter to Le Anne Schreiber (I sent her a lot of mental notes with quite a bit of positive feedback)
22. learn how to properly grill fish (another no, but I started dating someone who is a master at catching, cleaning and grilling fish, so I'll count that)
23. figure out how to operate the sewing machine I got last year (hmm, let's hope there is something I can say I did coming up soon, because this is another no)
24. do something completely irresponsible (whew. Of COURSE I did irresponsible things)
25. make one major life change (switched jobs)

When I look at that list, the one that really annoys me is #3. So when I compiled this year's much smaller list, that one led the way...

1. Read more. Doesn't matter what and I'm not putting quantity parameters on it. But there will be more reading.
2. Be more organized. For the first time in 13 years, I will spend the majority of my days at home, rather than on the road for work, and I plan to take advantage of it.
3. Reconnect with friends. Something I've done more of lately thanks to Facebook. Now that I'm finding old friends, I will make more time for them. As well as the ones I didn't lose touch with but haven't seen as much as I'd like during the travel-heavy years.
4. Move more. Play Wii, wrestle with the nephews, ride my bike. No resolutions in terms of exercise frequency or weight loss. Just be less of a couch potato.
5. The Great Photo Project. This is the big one. I have thousands of pictures. THOUSANDS. And I have no system for cataloging said photos. By year's end, I hope to have created a searchable database of all of my pictures. It is a massive undertaking. But classic photos like this one, which I found while scanning the old college photos last week, need to be easily found.

The other thing I should probably vow to do is post more often, so I don't have to write novellas like this, which has gotten out of hand. For anyone still reading, I thank you (and I'm speaking mainly to my mom and Todd's mom here). You're clearly gluttons for punishment.

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T20:26:00.002-05:00

The honest answer is ... I have no idea why that vehicle was covered in shrimp, other than to say, why WOULDN'T it be?

There were three orders of business at the Meadowlands last Sunday, an unseasonably warm day: follow the Patriots-Bills game at 1 p.m., enjoy our final tailgate of the year, and hope the Jets could beat the Dolphins. Personally, I was also looking forward to a delightful afternoon with my brother, who was making his second appearance of the season...

The first task was made much easier when the tailgaters next to us opened the back of their SUV to reveal they brought a television...

Interest in the game ran high for a while, as the Bills kept it close for the first half...

But eventually, everyone realized the Bills were not going to pull it out, meaning no matter what happened in the Jets-Dolphins and Ravens-Jaguars games, there would be no home playoff game for us this season.

And I think that realization is what led to the events of the next two hours...out and out drunken, boisterous nuttiness. It was like a fire sale, where everyone felt the need to eat and drink everything we had and enjoy every waning moment of Tailgating 2008.

Before you knew it, people were dancing on cars...

Pops sat back and watched the mayhem while enjoying a cigar and listening to the Giants lose their season finale...

Jeff Bridges was discussed, albeit briefly and at my prompting, yet again...

My cousin's roommate showed up very late, but still managed to get involved in the proceedings (which probably had something to do with the bottle in his hand)...

I'll post another photo of that quartet here, instead of the other one I could post, of one of our group's elderstatesmen napping in his car. He never made it into the game which, as it turned out, might have been for the best...

And then it was time to enter the stadium for the final time this season...

Sometime during the first half, the sun began to set, which was a fitting statement on the Jets' hopes. But while the sunset was breathtaking and beautiful, the Jets' play was not.

But, savvy Jets fans that we are, we didn't allow the goings-on on the field to ruin what was otherwise a terrific day.

I made sure to take time to really enjoy His Holiness' time on the field. I'll post more about this later, but I lingered to watch what may well have been the last snaps of his career...

There was one source of aggravation on the way out of the stadium, as the Jets saw fit to shoot off fireworks after the game. If anyone can tell me why we should have been celebrating a team that was 8-3 and completely crapped the bed with losses in four of their last five (and quite frankly, it would have been 0-5 if not for that incredible luck against Buffalo two weeks prior), I'd appreciate it.

And it was then that we passed the shrimp-covered vehicle. I have no idea why. But at that point, with the Jets' season, once so full of promise, officially dead, it just seemed to make sense...

2008-12-29T11:02:00.004-05:00

I have received a hearty number of phone calls, e-mails and text messages inquiring about my well-being following what transpired in the National Football League yesterday...

A full report will follow shortly. But for now, I will leave you with this photo and an assurance that I am fine...

...and will answer questions like "Why is this car covered in shrimp" shortly...

2008-12-25T00:12:00.003-05:00

A very Merry from Jersey Girl and the trifecta of her favorite crazy kids...

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