At my gym, there are three televisions attached to the ceiling in front of the cardiovascular machines (treadmills, bikes and the like). Usually, the televisions are set to NBC, CBS and ABC. Yesterday afternoon I went in for a lengthy workout session and as soon as I started moving on the treadmill, I noticed that the television in front of me was set to the Food Network. What kind of sadist runs on a treadmill while watching someone prepare decadent meals on the television? Me, that’s who. But not by choice.

Yesterday’s meal on a program called Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee (as a sidebar, what is Semi-Homemade Cooking? Seriously, what is that?) was a Garden Italian feast, which included veal piccata and peaches and tarragon with mascarpone. Well, I don’t eat veal, but that looked delicious. Then, as she’s making the peaches and other big words, which is apparently a dessert, she’s oohing and aahing over every bite. This doesn’t exactly inspire fitness. I may have to write a letter to the gym detailing what does and does not make for acceptable viewing during exercise. Not an angry letter, mind you, but just a polite correspondence asking if they could possibly block that channel from the programming options henceforth. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I mean, it’s enough that there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts across the street. I don’t need to be culinarily attacked while actually working out as well.