There has been some recent sidebar commentary about my current mental status, so let’s just get it out there for the record.

Yes, I am going to participate in a mini-triathlon.

Yes, I am clearly insane.

Before you ask, no, this is not being done with the idea that I’ll someday undertake a full triathlon. I could probably manage the swimming (2.4 miles) and the biking (112 miles). But to run a full marathon on top of that is simply out of the question. On the list of things I don’t ever want to do, ‘run a marathon’ is number two, just after ‘get shot.’ Actually, I might prefer getting shot.

Anyway, KJ asked if I’d be interested in trying a mini-triathlon (or as they call it, a Sprint Triathlon) and I said sure. To her credit, she did not ask me while we were drinking, unlike the last time she asked such a question and I wound up running five miles. This latest endeavor consists of a half-mile swim, 10-mile bike ride and three-mile run. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. There are quite a few of them in N.J., and we’re targeting one for next September.

Instead of waiting until the week before the event and cramming all my training into four days, like the annual routine for the five-mile run, I decided to start exercising more now. So each day, I peel myself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. Yes, this sucks. I wake up and turn the alarm off, and then consider going back to sleep, but then guilt and a weird mix of motivation and irritation takes over, and I find myself muttering a la Cameron Frye, “Ok, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go.”

This morning, I decided to try a spin cycling class. I spend a lot of time on my bike but have avoided the spin classes, for fear I would, oh I don’t know, DIE. These fears were not unfounded. For starters, I don’t know that such classes should start at 6 a.m. I’m sure my eyes weren’t fully open. And I don’t know that it’s healthy to put yourself through so much so early in the day. Basically, you just keep spinning your feet on this special bike. You climb hills, do jumps (sit, stand, sit, stand), and keep on pedaling. And pedaling. And pedaling. It was a workout and a half, and my body was just in shock for a while.

Fortunately, the music was outstanding – at one point, the CD played Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” and Tina Turner’s version of “Proud Mary” back to back – and the instructor didn’t screech at us like so many other aerobic teachers seem to feel is necessary. That’s a bonus at 6 a.m. And I had extra motivation. The woman on the bike across from me appeared to be six months pregnant. So I figured, if she can do this, I can do it. And I did.

Honestly, it wasn’t all THAT bad, and I really think I’ve found a way to lose 20 pounds in 60 minutes. You’ll never see more sweat come off a person. Now I know why they tell you to bring a towel. If only I had thought to bring a comfy seat as well.