wine by the color

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Two things of note from today’s newspaper. First, this gem from Dear Abby…

Dear Abby: My son-in-law insists on walking around naked after his shower. He claims that he’s hot and must let his hemorrhoids air-dry. Abby, this man has four children, three of whom are girls ages 9, 7 and 4. My daughter has done everything from plead to scream to get him to stop this habit, yet he still emerges from the bathroom with the announcement, “Turn your heads, girls, I’m naked!” What more can my daughter do to get him to understand how potentially dangerous this is? – Disgusted in Missouri

Dear Disgusted: … It is not appropriate for your son-in-law to parade around in front of the girls. My suggested aversion therapy: the next time he makes his grand entrance, your daughter and the girls should point to his lower midsection and start laughing. If that proves ineffective, she should buy a long extension cord for her hair dryer and warn her spouse that if he doesn’t dry his hemorrhoids, then she will. I’m sure he’ll get the message.

I would LOVE to be a witness to those solutions. Methinks Daddy is going to get very, very angry.

Then, my daily horoscope…

PISCES: Contrary to popular myth, there is scientific proof that goldfish can remember things for longer than three seconds. Those who think that you, dear fish, won’t hold a grudge may have another thing coming!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.


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