I broke one of my steadfast personal doctrines last evening. For perhaps the first time ever, I left a sporting event before its conclusion. Well before its conclusion.

We were tardy arrivals at the Jets’ tailgate due to my nephew’s birthday party and, quite frankly, I just didn’t have time to drink enough to numb myself for the dreadful football that awaited us. The 2-8 Jets were hosting the 2-8 Saints in a game being televised by the Evil Empire. As a sidebar, I think the league should institute a policy dictating that any time two god-awful teams play, they should use a running clock. The clock should not stop for any reason, meaning that such atrocious games would not last more than 90 minutes.

Anyway, using the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” philosophy, I offer the following positive comments:

-it was not freezing cold, which could have easily been the case for a late-November game
-traffic was extremely light to and from the stadium

To be fair, there were a few other bright spots. Pops brought cognac and the Professor brought egg nog to the tailgate. Lou carried an entire platter of baked goods – cookies, brownies, etc. – right into the stadium, offering one to the security guard as a bribe (which he took). The Professor sang throughout the game. A popular rumor is that Herm will leave the Jets to take over for Dick Vermeil in Kansas City at the end of the season. To honor this, the Professor sang “Going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come” approximately 439 times. For the next game, we’re going to make a mix tape of Kansas City-related songs and blast it throughout the afternoon.

In an actual game highlight, Curtis Martin became just the fourth player in NFL history to surpass the 14,000-yard rushing mark. It was nice to witness that. Less enjoyable was the touchdown the Jets lost on a reversal, for reasons I still don’t completely understand.

So we stayed until the start of the fourth quarter. I was fighting a cold and was tired after a cocktail-intensive weekend, and the game really was awful, so it just seemed best. Fortunately, our decision to leave early saved me from watching former OSU kicking wunderkind Mike Nugent miss a 53-yarder with 10 seconds left, thus giving the Saints a two-point victory. Earlier in the game, some fellow fans had some rather hurtful things to say about Nugent’s inability to reach the end zone on kickoffs, so I certainly would not have enjoyed the commentary following the missed field goal.

Making the Jets’ continued downward spiral worse is that the Texans continue to find new and exciting ways to lose, so they remain in the lead for the Reggie Bush sweepstakes.

Is it even worth mentioning that the Packers and Browns also lost? No, I didn’t think so. But for those keeping score at home, my three NFL teams are a combined 8-25.