While in the city Sunday, The Colonel was telling me about his latest run-in with the girl who has wreaked havoc on his heart and soul for many years. I pointed out that it could be worse. At least there’s a chance that he’ll run into her somewhere, or pick up the phone and find her on the other end, or open his e-mail and find one from her. As I reminded him, the person most responsible for torturing my heart died, thus definitively ending the possibility for any such encounters.

He told me, “I think you might be better off.”

I’m pretty sure I don't agree, but I understand what he was trying to say...

In a completely unrelated but no-more-uplifting note: for anyone about to make their picks in a 2006 Celebrity Death Pool, you simply must select Whitney Houston in the first round. Even if Andy Dick is still available.

I watched the Christmas episode of “Being Bobby Brown” last night, and first I should publicly flog myself for not watching this horrifying, glorious train wreck all along. I’m not a huge fan of reality television, but this is a sheer gem. I can't believe I wasn't watching it from the start. My TiVo tried to suggest it but, NO, I wouldn't listen.

Anyway, as for the episode I did watch, here's a fantastic little recap. Bobby, who as has been well documented over the years is no pillar of the community, actually comes across as the one who keeps the household together (save for the moment he dispels the myth of Santa while wielding a rather large knife). Scary, but true.

As for America's R&B sweetheart, let me first say that I've got nothing but love for Whitney. She's a Jersey girl who has an amazing voice and, when she's got her shit together, is quite beautiful (see above). Clearly, she does not have her shit together these days (see below).

Simply put, she looks like a crackhead. A bonafide crack ho. Admittedly, I haven’t dealt with a whole lot of (read: zero) crack hos in my everyday life, but I’ve got to imagine this is what one would look like. It’s amazing to remember that this woman once told Diane Sawyer "Crack is Whack” with a straight look on her face. She's a mess.

But I will also say this ... while celebrity couples are falling apart left and right, these two remain married. How that is, I have no idea. Crack may be whack, but apparently it keeps bringing you back.