Dear Jersey Girl,

We need to talk.

Since you left for the cruise six week ago, your dedication to exercising has been a touch, shall we say, lacking. There's been no running, no biking, no weightlifting, no yoga. You never even looked for the gym on the ship, which we understood. You were vacationing, where food, libations and fun were the priorities, and we were okay with that. We figured you'd ease us back into shape gradually. Maybe start with some light jogging or a little time on the exercise bike and work back up to full speed.

So what the hell were you thinking last night? A high-intensity step class? Were you trying to kill us? We’ve been relatively patient with you and your antics over the years. This is how you repay us? We know it was horrifying to see a photo of your derriere in a bathing suit. That's what you get for letting people take your picture when you're wearing a bathing suit. That's not our fault.

We heard rumblings of a spin class this morning. We were relieved to see cooler heads prevail. Pull any more stunts like last night and there will be hell to pay.

Hugs & kisses,
Your body