wine by the color

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Let's skip ahead to The McDonald's That Time Forgot, and I'll talk about the cruise when I get the pictures organized.

After arriving back in Miami post-cruise, we headed to Daytona Beach to visit old family friends. En route, we needed to make a lunch stop. We spotted a Cracker Barrel along 95 which would have been great except for the 45-minute wait. So we moved on to the neighboring McDonald's. My family will be forever grateful for this change of venue, because it has provided enough material to keep us laughing for a while.

We knew something was amiss as soon as we entered the home of the golden arches. The line wound through a good portion of the seating area. But there seemed to be a strange trend where people would finally get up to the counter, order and walk away sans food.

While standing in the lengthy line, I decided to visit the restroom. I knew the handwritten "please knock before entering" was a bad sign but forged ahead. The bathroom-door lock was no longer functioning. Nor was the toilet paper dispenser, so large rolls of TP were simply piled up on the floor for use.

Upon returning to the line, my mother noticed a large bucket on the floor and said, "I wonder what that's doing there." A quick survey of the ceiling provided that answer - one of the drop tiles was completely soaked, and there were huge holes in it. It wasn't raining so one would imagine that had been there a while.

The next highlight was not necessarily McDonald's fault but still must be mentioned. The man in front of us, who I am certain my five-year-old crazy nephew could beat up, ordered a Happy Meal for his little boy. Well, the child did not like the toy that came in his Happy Meal, so the father asked the cashier to see the other toy options. The child didn't like any of those toys, so the father asked if they still had any toys from the last promotion, several weeks prior. At this point, my brother started openly laughing.

While watching this, I also had an eye on a young lass behind the counter who was wearing her McDonald's-issued "I'm Fast, I'm Friendly, I'm Lovin' It" t-shirt. Let me assure you, she was 0-for-3. Not fast, not friendly, certainly not lovin' it. It would be hard to imagine how a person could move any slower. Whenever she used the cash register, she would lean her elbows on the counter, as if pushing register keys required a massive amount of energy. There was a lot of deep sighing from her.

Finally it was our turn to order, and we learned why people kept walking away. That we know of, they were out of grilled chicken, shakes, ice cream and chocolate milk. They kept referring to these items being on "the truck out back." So it took a while, but we finally placed our order. Food in hands, we returned to our vehicles, where my father was waiting with the nephews. We gave him his chicken select sandwich, which he promptly opened and started to look at quizzically. The sandwich featured the top of the bun, lettuce and chicken. No bottom of the bun.
Back in I went, straight to the front of the line, where the cashier who waited on us noticed me standing. She said to someone, "See what's wrong with her sandwich." That woman came over and asked if I needed help, so I opened the box and said: "We've never ordered this sandwich before. Does it always come with half a bun?" She got a good laugh out of that, and I returned outside with a complete chicken select sandwich.

Next up ... my brother. He ate his McChicken and then realized he didn't get his cheeseburger. Back in he went, and out he came with a cheeseburger. During his trip, someone spilled a full coffee in the entryway. As he said, "that's probably going to be there for a while."

And that was pretty much the end of the show at the Vero Beach McDonald's, save for a quick survey of the back of the establishment for the "truck out back." Yep, no truck.

By the way, they're hiring.


  • At 3/02/2006 12:27 PM, Blogger SJPSandman said…

    Hmmmm. A McDonalds in Vero Beach -- near Dodger Town, I'm sure -- that sucks? No surprise.
    I bet you wouldn't have had these problems if you'd simply gone a little further up I-95 and hit one of the fine establishments in Port St. Lucie, spring training home of the New York Mets!

  • At 3/02/2006 2:52 PM, Blogger jersey girl said…

    Sandman, a fine point. Just imagine if we had been in the Tampa area.

  • At 3/02/2006 3:16 PM, Blogger Maggie said…

    Holy crap, that's sad. On our way home from our last trip to Jersey, we stopped in a McDonald's...I don't remember where. It was empty, we were the only customers. I don't think that's ever happened to me before. Also, the employees all looked so sad you'd think they just got back from a funeral. It was bizarre.

    I like the McDonald's in our town. They're so freaking friendly there. Same thing at the coffee shop. You go through the drive thru and they always say "thanks," "you're welcome," and "have a nice day." They sound like they mean it, too.

  • At 3/02/2006 5:17 PM, Blogger todd a said…

    I am surprised Mr. Sandman didn't throw out a "I need TP for my bunghole" for the people.

    Interestingly, McDonald's has started it's own American Idol-type contest for its employees ( I'm sure the public wants to see acne-covered faces belting out tunes like "Eat It" and "Cheeseburger in Paradise."

    Because if there's one demographic in this country who has bonfide talent, it's definitely the people at McDonald's.

  • At 3/06/2006 10:05 AM, Blogger jersey girl said…

    Hey, they're fast, they're friendly, they're lovin' it!!


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