To celebrate New Jersey's new smoke-free policy, we hit our favorite bar Saturday night, which was until then the smokiest establishment we know. The difference in just one day was amazing. But now that the smell of smoke is gone, we noticed that it absolutely reeks of stale beer.

A great line from my cousin's roommate: "Hey, now that I won't smell like smoke, I can wear these clothes again without having to wash them."

There should be a state law that if your band is playing in a Jersey shore bar, you shouldn't be allowed to cover Springsteen tunes unless you have the talent to do so. Saturday night's band butchered "Rosalita" so badly I considered going onstage and asking them to stop immediately and never sing it again. I'm sure the bar's patrons would have applauded such a move. The televisions in the bar were airing plastic surgery, pro wrestling and soccer, and people were far more interested in that trifecta of dubious entertainment than in the band.

Finally, I think the Tom Cruise is Crazy world tour has reached epic proportions. At one point this weekend, there were three different stories about Tom/Katie/their soon-to-arrive offspring on the Yahoo entertainment page. I now know that the baby will not be baptized in the Catholic church, that Katie is a Scientologist and that she can make noise during childbirth, although no one else will be allowed to. I also know that Tom has been running seminars to educate his family about the new baby.

I know all about the attention-whore behavior of celebrities and usually have no problem with it (see: my TiVo season pass for "Being Bobby Brown"). But this just seems completely over the top. I fully expect to see the following headline in the next few weeks: "Tom Cruise not sure what to do with placenta."