If this is true, it would certainly explain why Patti was absent from the tour for much of the summer. So much for the First Couple of NJ Rock 'n Roll.

But speaking of marriage, this news has significantly reduced the likelihood of me ever tying the knot.

I don't read Bill Simmons as regularly as I used to, but there was a real gem in this week's Mailbag:

Q: Whether you like it or not, the "Caddyshack" remake is going to happen some day. There's no fighting it. So at least tell me how you would cast it, and do so before the real thing happens and they screw it up.--Dave, Portsmouth, N.H.

SG: What do you mean, there's no fighting it? I will absolutely fight it and organize protest Web sites, viral anti-marketing campaigns and opening-day boycotts if this happens. Nobody under 45 years old wants to see a "Caddyshack" remake with Dane Cook as Ty Webb, Haley Joel Osment as Danny Noonan, Ben Stiller as Carl Spackler and Alec Baldwin as Al Czervik. Repeat: Nobody.

But here's what would be acceptable: "Black Caddyshack." Couldn't we take it in another direction with Snoop Dogg as Ty Webb, Bernie Mac as Judge Smails, Sam Jackson as Al Czervik, Jamie Foxx as Carl Spackler and Beyonce as Lacey Underall? With the right cast, I might give "Black Caddyshack" a chance.

That's a movie I would definitely see. Another flick I will be seeing is "Invincible," the based-on-a-true-story tale of a 30-year-old Philly bartender who wound up playing for the Eagles. You can bet I'll see that. I'm a complete sucker for the "everyday Joe does well in sports" cinema. I still get worked up every time I watch "Rudy." Or "The Rookie."

Has anyone seen the South African pitcher playing in the Little League World Series? You can find him here, towering over his opponents. At 13 years old, he's already 6'8". He looks like El Duque pitching against my nephews.

And finally, I'd like to thank the fine folks at Yahoo News for the headline of the week.

It doesn't take much to amuse me.