wine by the color

Friday, November 03, 2006

I have recently been taken to task, and rightfully so, for two things: the lack of pictures of my niece and the missing fourth installment from my rant-a-palooza.

My shame with regard to the former of these issues is overwhelming. Last weekend, someone asked to see a recent picture of Sweetie Pie Princess. Imagine my horror to realize I haven't taken any since she was two weeks old. Shameful. I know she's the third kid and all, but she deserves better.

Sweetie Pie Princess smiles at her aunt as the two watch a little football together. She may be smiling now, but she and her aunt will be much less happy two hours later, when officials at the Jets-Browns game do not call for a replay on what looks like it could be a Jets TD in the last minute of the game.

And finally...

Part IV: I Want To Quit The Gym!

A few months ago, in the midst of a long road trip, I was watching television at 4 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I can't really explain what happened next. Perhaps it was because I was exhausted, or because I had been away from home for too long. All I know is that Daisy Fuentes was making a lot of sense early that morning, so I now own this. Shut it. I know.

But it’s been going pretty well - I've been rising at 5:30 a.m. daily to do the tapes and I actually enjoy it and have started to see a difference, so I decided it might be time to quit the gym. I stopped by a few weeks ago to freeze my membership, a warm-up for actually quitting. I filled out the paperwork and was told it would be taken care of.

Two days later, the monthly membership fee was withdrawn from my checking account.

I wish I had a better ending to this story, but I don't. I called to complain and was given some rhetoric about the gym's policy requiring more lead time to freeze a membership. Honestly, I just didn't have the energy to fight about it. Maybe when I actually quit and that doesn't go well, which I'm sure it won't, I'll have a better tale to tell.

Speaking of traveling and late nights on the road, I frequently suffer from an affliction I like to call Hotel Insomnia. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, sometimes I simply cannot sleep. More accurately, I’ll fall asleep without incident, but wake up around 3 a.m. And 4 a.m. And 5 a.m.

It was during one such evening that I awoke to what seemed to be Ron Jeremy leading a talk show about what constitutes sexy. Who can sleep when that’s going on?

Eventually, I realized it was an infomercial for this. I won't say any more.

But while we're discussing disturbing things you can do to your body, might I point out this? Are there that many people who need more fat on their ass? I have my doubts about this.


  • At 11/04/2006 1:05 AM, Blogger Lozo said…

    you're making her watch jets games? so i guess you're the evil aunt then.

  • At 11/04/2006 1:20 AM, Blogger SJPSandman said…

    Get bent, Lozo

  • At 11/04/2006 1:09 PM, Blogger Maggie said…

    The niece is darling!

    I have seen the informercial of which you speak. It amuses me to no end that they keep referring to that "certain part of the male anatomy" instead of saying "PENIS" because of that pesky law that says you can't lie about what your product can do. Heh.


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