It’s not often my horoscope leads to hearty laughter, but today’s did…

Suddenly, you find it in your heart to forgive your enemies, perhaps because now enough time has passed. But more likely because you think it would annoy them.

Hee! If only I had some suitable enemies.

That wasn’t the only gem in today’s rag. There was a bevy of highlights in the police blotter (names removed because I felt like it)…

-A 39-year-old man was cited for excessive noise after a neighbor complained to police. Police have been called about noise from the condominium unit six times this year, according to the police report. He reportedly explained to police, “This is the only way to watch a movie.”

-The next day, this same audio-challenged gentleman was arrested for threatening to damage his neighbor’s truck and banging the walls in his condo while screaming profanities.

-A 34-year-old man told police someone stole his debit card number and made $1,457 in purchases at liquor stores in Connecticut.

-Police were called to BJ’s Wholesale Club for a person creating a disturbance. Upon arrival, a 45-year-old man was charged with inhaling fumes of a toxic chemical for the purpose of causing a condition of intoxication.

It puzzles me that newspaper circulations are down. Information dissemination aside, don't people realize the wondrous entertainment potential?