wine by the color

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Epiphany: (n) [e·piph·a·ny] a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience

I had a really bad day at work today.

I try to avoid talking about my job here because I really like it and don't want to do anything that might jeopardize it. While I don't want to entirely detour from that philosophy, I will say today was the kind of demoralizing day that makes you question your future at an organization. It's nothing I did, so it's not like I'm being singled out for crappy job performance or anything of the sort. Everyone is affected, more or less regardless of anything.

So I headed into the city after said bad day at work to have dinner with The Colonel, to commiserate over a recently failed relationship (him) and being bent over by the man (me). While stuffing our faces with a combined 40 ounces of red meat, accompanied by sides of Guinness and red wine, we realized we hadn't seen in each other in more than a year. This is one of my dearest friends, someone I have known more than 30 years. Why can't we make time to see each other? Because I have let my job run my life. I miss a lot, but I've always felt it was worth it. Today, that changed a little bit.

Henceforth, I come first.

While riding the train out of the city, I was listening to a little Sigur Ros. Have you ever felt like you were watching your life as though it were a movie? That's how I felt like as I rode from New York to Newark, sitting in the dark, lights flashing outside the window, music hitting me like shots to the heart, watching my sad reflection in the train's windows. I can't entirely explain why, but it was like I had removed myself from the situation, which allowed me to look at things objectively. And all of a sudden, things made a whole lot of sense. And that sad face in the window started to smile back at me.

I don't know what else to call is other than an epiphany. In a moment of clarity, everything fell perfectly into perspective.

I've got it now. Consider me awakened.

5 Comments:

  • At 2/09/2007 6:32 PM, Blogger freakgirl said…

    Hang in there.

     
  • At 2/09/2007 8:39 PM, Blogger Megan said…

    I'm so glad you were able to see the situation clearly and that you were able to smile back at yourself. It'll be okay...hang in there! :)

     
  • At 2/10/2007 11:50 AM, Blogger todd a said…

    Hang in there!

    (I figure everyone else is saying it....what the hell, right?)

     
  • At 2/10/2007 4:40 PM, Blogger jersey girl said…

    "Hang" is a word I've used a few times myself today.

    Of course, it's always been with the word "over" after it, but these things happen.

     
  • At 2/12/2007 1:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I will not say, "Hang in there". I will say drink more.

     

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