wine by the color

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

(If you're just sitting down with your breakfast, you might want to move along...)

As far as I'm concerned, these are three of the least pleasant (non-life threatening) experiences a person can have:

1. The 12 hours of preparation for a colonoscopy.

2. Cleaning a baby who has shit out of his or her diaper.

3. Throwing up on an airplane.

Care to guess which of these I've suffered through in the last few hours?

About three hours into my flight from Seattle to Newark, I awoke with a need to visit the restroom. As I walked from row 5 to the rear of the plane, I realized I was feeling a bit clammy and light-headed. Upon my arrival in the tiny bathroom, I realized my problem was not in fact the need to pee. Rather, one of my meals had decided it was unhappy and wanted to relocate.

There's really not much worse than having to put your head any closer to a stench-filled airplane toilet. I tried it from a distance, but that seemed potentially messy. So I got my head down there and took care of business. I then hung out near the toilet for 30 minutes, hoping to avoid a mad dash back down the aisle for a repeat visit.

I guess it could have been worse. I could have opted to wait to use the bathroom until we landed. I'm sure my demure French seatmate would have enjoyed that.

For those keeping track at home, this is the third time I've hurled on a plane. All things being equal, this was probably the least-troublesome occurrence. The runaway winner, if it can be called that, was the time I took the redeye home from San Diego after a huge meal at this joint. That was an absolute disaster, featuring a crazed leap over my seatmate, a sprint to the bathroom holding my mouth shut and a flight attendant holding my hair.

Compared to that, today's festivities barely register.


  • At 4/11/2007 3:50 PM, Blogger Megan said…

    Ho. lee. shit. You poor thing!

  • At 4/11/2007 9:23 PM, Blogger the joker said…

    I'm all for you blowing chunks all over that French cat.

    Can we do a rewind?

  • At 4/11/2007 10:32 PM, Blogger Stu_Prunier said…

    I thought I was going to have a similar episode in the bathroom at Giants Stadium back in September. Thankfully there was only a nap.

  • At 4/11/2007 10:34 PM, Blogger SJPSandman said…

    Sorry for the confusion. That previous comments was mine. Stu Prunier is a blogger alter-ego I use when I want to do shtick on Courier News blogs

  • At 4/11/2007 10:53 PM, Blogger jersey girl said…

    Sandman, I'll take comments from any of your alter egos.

    Joker, it was actually a French dame. One who felt the need to swing her bushy hair in my face repeatedly until I finally grabbed it. That put an end to that nonsense.

  • At 4/12/2007 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    United Airlines mentioned a few weeks ago that 10 people per year (on average, and not the same 10 each year) die on their flights. So it could have been much, much worse.

  • At 4/12/2007 10:13 AM, Blogger freakgirl said…

    Out of those three ordeals, I've only had to deal with #2. (heh) And it is the grossest.

    Hope you're feeling better.

  • At 4/12/2007 12:44 PM, Blogger Marjon said…

    Eeeew on the 3 examples and sorry for the throwing up. Hope you feel better. And it won't happen again any time soon.

  • At 4/14/2007 2:12 PM, Blogger ClarkKent said…

    I've been to that San Diego restaurant, too. I can see why you couldn't hold it down.


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