wine by the color

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Gap Inc.
Two Folsom Street
San Francisco, CA 94105

Dear The Gap,

Might I have a word?

You are The Gap. You make comfortable clothes that are suitable for work and play. You don't go completely crazy with wacky colors or styles. You are a dependable option for anyone who enjoys wearing classic khakis and oxford shirts.

But I'm afraid you might have lost your way...

According to the promotional e-mail I received this morning, this is a piece from your new "Shirt Dress" line. The following helpful blurb was provided:

Be the first to try the new menswear-inspired trend, the shirt dress. We've added feminine details to his buttoned-up silhouette. To complete the look? Pair with the latest patent belt or shoes.

You know what I'd like to pair this with? Pants. And four less inches of fabric around the thighs. And no ruffle around the neckline. And no dopey belt resting just under The Twins.

If I want to wear a man's shirt, I will do so. But should I be venturing outdoors in it, it will be accompanied by a pair of pants. Or, if I'm feeling saucy, perhaps a skirt. Either way, "shoes" will not be this garment's only partner.

It took some brief research on your web site to discover this frock is only offered under "Dresses," not "Shirts." So even you're confused. Allow me to help: Shirts are shirts. Dresses are dresses. Ne'er the two shall meet.

You are not Mandee's or Forever 21. You are The Gap. Please get it together. A nation turns its in-need-of-dependable-and-wearable-clothing eyes to you.

Hugs & kisses,
Jersey Girl


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