wine by the color

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Four days. Three children. One dog. One woman.

Let's take a look at the numbers:

1 - Number of times I managed to shower before 2 p.m.
1 - Number of times I was asked, "Can I poop?"
1 - Number of times I forgot the dog's propensity for eating things out of the trash.
1 - Number of times I immediately regretted that memory lapse.
1 - Number of wet diapers in the trash at the time.
1 - Number of times I actually counted the children in the car to make sure I hadn't forgotten one.
2 - Number of full brother-on-brother assaults.
2 - Number of said assaults that led to bloodshed.
2 - Number of times I forgot to eat lunch.
2 - Number of times I considered licking a child's fingers a meal.
2 - Number of times I took all three children to a restaurant.
2 - Number of times they behaved like angels in said restaurants.
4 - Number of caffeinated beverages I usually have per month.
4 - Number of caffeinated beverages I had per day for the duration of my supervising responsibilities.
24 - Pounds of food Sweetie Pie Princess can eat per day.
24 - Sweetie Pie Princess's apparent total daily diaper weight.
3 - Number of times I considered the muscle-building potential of carrying around a child who eats as much as Sweetie Pie Princess.
39 - Times I thanked the Freak and the Geek for visiting Saturday afternoon, which really refreshed the crowd.
57 - Number of sympathetic looks I got from strangers during the four days that clearly said, "oh, look at that poor single woman and her three children."
467 - Number of times I said, "Get your hands off your brother."
679 - Number of times I said, "Dog, get away from the high chair."
12:30 a.m. - My usual average bedtime
9:15 p.m. - My average bedtime while watching the Crazies
2:30 a.m. - Average arrival time in my bed of Crazy Nephew #1
4 - Number of times Sweetie Pie Princess awoke before 6:30 a.m.
1 - Number of times I convinced her to go back to sleep.
0 - Number of times I felt completely defeated and cried.

And, perhaps my favorite moment, from the mouth of Crazy Nephew #2...

Late Monday, he was sitting on my lap when I asked for a smooch. He thought about that for a moment, then said, "Okay, I'll kiss you. But I'm not marrying you."

Pictures of this weekend are to come. For now, it's time to return to my footloose and fancy-free life. Newark Airport is calling my name.


  • At 10/16/2007 9:21 AM, Blogger freakgirl said…

    I think you did great. I probably wouldn't have even left the house.

    And the kids are hilarious.

  • At 10/18/2007 4:22 PM, Blogger Joe and Mel said…

    Hilarious! You just recounted my life. But you said it so much better than I. Anyway, so sorry we missed your time on Holland Brook. We were in VA for 5 days.

    So glad you survived. With the schedule you keep, watching the crazies and the princess should be a breeze.

  • At 10/20/2007 1:38 AM, Blogger Joependleton said…

    Sounds like everyday in Pendleton hut and I wouldn't trade it for anything.


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