So the weather stripping around my front door started to fall away from the door frame a few weeks ago, and while I was in Arizona the top piece became about 80 percent detached from the top of the entryway. Since my return last week, the loose piece has been hanging in exactly the middle of the doorway, so that whenever I enter or depart Casa Magnolia, the little piece of stripping smacks me in the forehead.

My friend is coming to pick me up so we can go see a 58-year-old man and his friends bust their asses for our entertainment, so I thought I'd quickly fix the rogue stripping in the interest of having the entrance to my abode not look so ghetto.

You know what's coming, right?

Yes. I have glued my fingers together.