Last night, as the Sandman and I sat at the bar watching the Steelers lose but not by more than 3.5 points, something on the other side of the bar caught my eye. After some squinting, I leaned over to the Sandman and asked, "does that guy's shirt say 'Fake Titties Taste Funny?' "
Indeed it did.
As it turned out, his friends were sitting next to us, so we had a front-row seat to his attire for the next few hours. Who would have known his fashion choice would have been his second-strangest decision of the night...
At one point, he made a bathroom visit. Apparently, someone in the men's room had committed the ultimate sin of crapping in the urinal. Now, had he returned from the restroom and simply announced this, I'm sure everyone would have believed him.
But perhaps his friends have doubted his word in the past. I don't know. All I can tell you is he felt the need to take a picture of the offending matter on his cell phone, which he immediately started showing his friends (which included both genders). Unfortunately, due to the ensuing ruckus, my eyes accidentally caught a glimpse of the photographed turd.
Before you ask, no, he was not wearing a wedding ring...
Indeed it did.
As it turned out, his friends were sitting next to us, so we had a front-row seat to his attire for the next few hours. Who would have known his fashion choice would have been his second-strangest decision of the night...
At one point, he made a bathroom visit. Apparently, someone in the men's room had committed the ultimate sin of crapping in the urinal. Now, had he returned from the restroom and simply announced this, I'm sure everyone would have believed him.
But perhaps his friends have doubted his word in the past. I don't know. All I can tell you is he felt the need to take a picture of the offending matter on his cell phone, which he immediately started showing his friends (which included both genders). Unfortunately, due to the ensuing ruckus, my eyes accidentally caught a glimpse of the photographed turd.
Before you ask, no, he was not wearing a wedding ring...
posted by jersey girl @ 6:11 PM
5 Comments:
At 1/06/2008 6:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
Whassamatta, you can't share the name of this fine establishment? C'mon, this sounds like my kind of bar.
At 1/06/2008 7:09 PM,
SJPSandman said…
Let me just say, I visited the bathroom at an earlier point in the evening and was well aware of the urinal's special post-holiday decoration.
For once, it was ME who had the good sense not to share.
Most of you can attest to the fact that I generally don't exercise good sense when it comes to the grossly offensive.
At 1/06/2008 8:01 PM,
jersey girl said…
DPH, our bar of choice is no secret. It's in South Bound Brook (and obviously a mecca of culture)...
SJP, That's a bad job by me. I should have lauded your unusual restraint.
I also forgot to mention the two cats fighting about baseball at the other end of the bar, featuring one guy who believed Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player in history, and the other who vehemently disagreed, but strangely had a head bigger than that of Barry Bonds.
At 1/06/2008 10:57 PM,
SJPSandman said…
Yeah, and don't forget the generous helping of death metal that was played on the jukebox.
At 1/08/2008 8:36 PM,
Todd Cohen said…
Crap in the urinal? That sucks.
Worst part about it is that batch probably ruined one of those tasty white mints. Yum yum.
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