wine by the color

Monday, January 07, 2008

Much to my mother's dismay, I'd like to discuss the versatility of the word fuck to illustrate several things currently on my mind.

To Mother Nature: What the fuck? Why so warm? You are ruining some great powder in Vermont.

To the newcomers at the gym, making their New Year's resolution visits that will fortunately only last a few weeks: Go the fuck away. I watched two of you fall off treadmills and another stumble off a stairmaster this morning. You're creating an unsafe environment. I mean, I'm laughing so hard I could fall off my own machine and injure myself.

And finally, to the NCAA/BCS/Fox: Go fuck yourself. Seriously, why is this game being played on a Monday night? Right now, I should be preparing Casa Magnolia for a rollicking party so friends and family can watch the national championship featuring my alma mater. But nooooo. Had to push this game to a Monday evening.

Fuckers.

Additions uttered during the game...

Fuck yeah!!

For fuck's sake, tackle him!!

Are you fucking kidding me? (while watching the halftime kicking challenge)

And finally, simply...

fuck.

5 Comments:

  • At 1/07/2008 7:31 PM, Blogger ClarkKent said…

    Fuckin a, man.

     
  • At 1/07/2008 9:10 PM, Blogger freakgirl said…

    Your second point is the reason I avoid the gym. Whether I were a New Year's newbie or a years-long veteran, I would still do things like fall off the treadmill or trip up the stairmaster...I'm sure I would cause you to rupture something.

    I almost fell off my treadmill at home today during an ill-advised attempt to reach the remote control.

     
  • At 1/08/2008 8:35 PM, Blogger the joker said…

    Resolutions suck. I had to park a mile away from the gym tonight. The walk alone matched my workout.

    (When you consider my "workout" staring at hot chicks, then you can see what I mean)

     
  • At 1/09/2008 8:23 PM, Anonymous Local said…

    Funny, the gym is never crowed at around 2 in the afternoon. Just admit you're jealous that you can't spend five-sevenths of your evenings holed up in a salt mine like I am. Why would anyone be interested in anything silly like having some sort of life?

     
  • At 1/15/2008 10:17 PM, Blogger zip1010 said…

    It is not surprising then that a good number of your favorite movies appear in this list: Movie F-Word Count

    It is surprising that Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction come in at only 19 and 20. At least Casino had a respectable showing.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home