After sitting on the runway in Newark for three hours on Sunday evening, I mentally started yet another letter to my dear friends in Houston. I would have been irritated regardless of the circumstances, but the fact that I left this face's birthday party three hours early made me appreciably more bitter.




















That bitterness eventually erupted when I finally arrived at PDX at 12:30 a.m. With a two-hour drive remaining to my final destination, the last thing I needed was to find no one at the Hertz drive-through check-out window to verify my ID and send me on my way. But that's exactly what happened.

Perhaps I should write a letter of apology to the man working in the service center. I know I scared the crap out of him as I banged on the window of the building with enough force to hurt my hand. But that's what he gets for not being at his station.

Speaking of the birthday boy, Crazy Nephew #2 loves SpongeBob Squarepants. I was shopping online when I came across this gem.

What little kid wouldn't want to have a musical Sponge Bob thermometer put in his rear end? Because having your temperature taken rectally isn't traumatic enough - let's have it sing too!

For those who have asked, I do not have anything to say about the current state of affairs in Green Bay, Wis. I am thisclose to replacing the honor of His Holiness with that of Her Holiness.

The Donaghy story was given major breaking news treatment on the 6 p.m. ET "SportsCenter." ESPN.com writers went into immediate swarm mode. From 8:30-9 p.m., though, on the live ESPN/ABC pregame show, there was not a single word on the Donaghy allegations. That curious silence seemed to roar with conflict of interest between ESPN, the news organization, and ESPN, the event broadcaster.

Sing it, sister.

So here's a protocol question for the ladies. Today, I went to the spa, thanks to a gift certificate from my brother, who wisely believes that the women in his life should be rewarded with trips to the spa.

After an outstanding massage, I settled in for the facial portion of the program. All was going well when I suddenly felt something hot being put on my face. VERY hot. I froze, unsure of what was happening.

My eyebrows were being torn off my face, was what was happening.

Admittedly, it has been a while since I manicured my eyebrows and there was a bit of a need. But that would seem the sort of thing a salon professional would ask about before slapping hot wax on someone's face. Maybe it's just me.

That assault wasn't enough to ruin the rest of the day, as I spent the afternoon in NYC with my older nephew. I gave him a choice of activities and the budding artist chose MOMA, which currently has an amazing Dali exhibit. From there, it was on to a nice walk in Central Park, followed by dinner. He fell asleep about six minutes after leaving the city, always a sign that a good time was had.




















A final note, while waiting in an Oregon Kinko's the other day, I started looking at the miscellaneous literature they sell. Most of the books are along the "Be a Better Employee" and "How to Maximize Your Time" lines, but I'll admit this one did pique my interest.

Good times!