So I continue to send myself junk e-mail at work. Let's review today's offerings, shall we?
The only site with free samples
Oh, how I want to open that one. Who doesn’t like free stuff.
Make sure she doesnt need dildo.
Why are apostrophes so difficult for so many? No matter what you're selling, if you can't get the punctuation correct, you're going to be hard-pressed to close the deal.
Your neighbor complaining on you
Now, this is entirely possible. There’s only one way to play music within the confines of Casa Magnolia – LOUDLY. And I am a frequent offender of the "no laundry or dishwasher after 10 p.m." policy. Fortunately, my neighbor is extremely hard of hearing. Well, fortunate for me.
Don’t let your neighbour satisfy your wife.
Well, then I’d have something to complain about.
Your private life is compromised.
I did a fine job compromising my own private life, thank you very much. I don't need any help.
We received your home video by mistake.
A shame on your home video.
Any home video that came from Casa Magnolia would indeed be a mistake. And a shame, for that would be four minutes somebody isn't getting back...
Cindy McCain cheats her husband.
This one piques my interest. Is this another example of poor sentence structure, and is it actually “cheats on” her husband? Or is she cheating him out of something? See how important good grammar is? And, as Freakgirl is fond of saying, it costs nothing.
Now, while I'm still curious as to what sort of firewall breakdown has led to this recent spam onslaught, this situation is seemingly being run by nuns compared to the spammers who have my gmail address. The first three e-mails I saw upon opening my account tonight were: Hot amateur sex tape horny couple fucking during private filming now leaked on net; When you work for Mrs. Gold and she wants you to fuck her; and Crazy Dumper.
(And somewhere, my mother sits home, shaking her head, wondering where her real daughter is...)
The only site with free samples
Oh, how I want to open that one. Who doesn’t like free stuff.
Make sure she doesnt need dildo.
Why are apostrophes so difficult for so many? No matter what you're selling, if you can't get the punctuation correct, you're going to be hard-pressed to close the deal.
Your neighbor complaining on you
Now, this is entirely possible. There’s only one way to play music within the confines of Casa Magnolia – LOUDLY. And I am a frequent offender of the "no laundry or dishwasher after 10 p.m." policy. Fortunately, my neighbor is extremely hard of hearing. Well, fortunate for me.
Don’t let your neighbour satisfy your wife.
Well, then I’d have something to complain about.
Your private life is compromised.
I did a fine job compromising my own private life, thank you very much. I don't need any help.
We received your home video by mistake.
A shame on your home video.
Any home video that came from Casa Magnolia would indeed be a mistake. And a shame, for that would be four minutes somebody isn't getting back...
Cindy McCain cheats her husband.
This one piques my interest. Is this another example of poor sentence structure, and is it actually “cheats on” her husband? Or is she cheating him out of something? See how important good grammar is? And, as Freakgirl is fond of saying, it costs nothing.
Now, while I'm still curious as to what sort of firewall breakdown has led to this recent spam onslaught, this situation is seemingly being run by nuns compared to the spammers who have my gmail address. The first three e-mails I saw upon opening my account tonight were: Hot amateur sex tape horny couple fucking during private filming now leaked on net; When you work for Mrs. Gold and she wants you to fuck her; and Crazy Dumper.
(And somewhere, my mother sits home, shaking her head, wondering where her real daughter is...)
posted by jersey girl @ 11:38 PM
6 Comments:
At 11/11/2008 9:56 AM,
freakgirl said…
I hope Mrs. Gold has adequate legal counsel for the sexual harassment lawsuits that are undoubtedly being filed as we speak.
Also, Crazy Dumper? Do not want to know.
At 11/11/2008 10:07 AM,
jersey girl said…
I know, right? It took a strong mix of self-control and fear to not open that one.
Oh, and I got one this morning titled, "Bring up a dragon in your pants."
At 11/11/2008 3:57 PM,
scott goodman said…
anytime you can work the words 'horny', 'fucking', and 'sex' in the same sentence, it's a bonus...
i mean its a bonus....
At 11/11/2008 11:58 PM,
SJPSandman said…
Yeah,,, um,,,, I've been having the exact same problem lately -- spam emails coming from myself to, um, myself -- and after reading about your plight, I think I might know the cause:
We both have the same Verizon Palm Treo cellphones. I think that might be the culprit.
I have AOL, and when I send emails to myself, all they have from the sender is my screen name, not the "aol.com" suffix. These spam emails, like when I send myself emails through my phone, have the aol.com suffix included.
And since you are way more diligent than myself as far as calling companies on their shit, I'll leave hunting down the solution to you. I've already done my detective work for the day.
At 11/12/2008 6:31 AM,
jersey girl said…
While I applaud your theory and detective work, I don't believe that is the cause in my case. This is happening on my work e-mail, and every message always has the work suffix on it. And everything goes through the extremely sensitive server, which should be stopping these sorts of things.
If I were offended by these e-mails, I'd make more of an effort to stop it. But it has provided me with a good amount of amusement so I'll wait for them to figure it out.
At 11/12/2008 10:33 AM,
Brooke said…
I've been getting it, too ... and I accidentally opened the first one at work, thinking, "What the hell ... " Yeah, not bright. I'm going to pay more attention to the subject lines from now on, though.
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