I have two daily calendars on my desk for 2009. The first, "Life is Crap" is self-explanatory, offering cartoons about life gone wrong. While that sounds promising, it is the other, "The Bad Drivers' Handbook," that may prove to be the real winner of these two.

The Bad Drivers' calendar promises that "each day presents a new tongue-in-cheek observation on bad driving habits such as intimidating pedestrians, turn signals (why surrender the element of surprise?), and tailgating (how close is close enough?)."

When I bought one for my brother for Christmas, I was intrigued enough by that description to buy one for myself. And it has not disappointed ... to wit, this entry from last week:

Pedestrians

When considering the so-called rights of pedestrians, a good question to ask is: Who pays for the roads you travel on? Who pays to construct them? Who pays to maintain them? The answer, which should be painfully obvious whenever you fill up your tank with gas a price unreasonably inflated by taxes, is: You do! And yet you are forced to share your roads with pedestrians. And they always get the right of way! Why is that? You’re bigger, you’re stronger, you’re faster. It is, not surprisingly, because of the espresso-drinking fascists at the DMV.

They had me at hello...