So as I sit and follow the Jets' season opener on the internet because I am working yet another weekend spreading the good word of the golf world, I decided to do a little online shopping. Usually, it's too warm at the home opener to wear a jersey and most of my Jets t-shirts have the number 4 on the back of them, so I thought I'd buy a new one for next week's game.

Let's look at some of this year's options...














Is it a bra? Lingerie? A shirt? Whatever you call it, it would cause a riot at the tailgate.

And then there is this...













I mean, really. What the hell is that? It appears to be a tube top with spaghetti straps. I can't imagine what I would look like in that after I polished off an Italian sausage sandwich, a burger, a variety of saturated-fat-filled snacks and a bottle of wine.

But the questionable options don't stop with the clothing. Let's check out the accessories...













This is the Jets "Fender Flair," which is described as "a purse is designed with two full size recycled aluminum team license plates that form the sides, and teardrop-shaped nickel plated steel end caps. The velvet lined bag has a pocket for your cell phone or makeup and a 21" leather carry strap."

Makeup? I don't ever wear make-up, let alone to a Jets game. And if I did, I would not pay $299.99 for a bag to carry it in. That's right, that costs 300 bucks.

Moving on...













Because nothing says "I love you and want to be with you forever" like a set of Jets rings.

I think I might just go with this...