wine by the color

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Years ago, I was an enormous Bill Simmons fan. I knew exactly what time, on which three days per week, his columns would be posted and waited for them, hitting the refresh button until they would appear. I laughed heartily at his pop culture references and rampant fandom. I sent him a message that included a reference to my ownership of the "Fast Break" soundtrack (on vinyl, no less), which led to a brief but humorous e-mail exchange.

Somewhere along the line, my devotion waned. I found other things to read, and he wrote about professional basketball way too often for my tastes. And not surprisingly, the Evil Empire overexposed him, creating the Sports Guy's World, which completely flooded the internet with content. It was too much.

But then, he writes something like this (with part 2 here) and completely sucks me back in. As far as I'm concerned, writing just doesn't get any better. He makes me feel like I am there in Vegas and know his friends. Actually, his friends sound a lot like my friends, which may have something to do with that. But his talent for setting the scene and making the reader feel a part of it is a true gift.

At first, I was going to highlight a few of my favorite lines from this two-part gem, but I was highlighting every other paragraph. As a teaser, here are two things that made me laugh very, very hard:

12:20: The doorbell rings. It's CEO Eric! He's accompanied by two scantily clad Pizza Girls, five pizzas and a case of Bud Light. I'm not kidding -- this almost caused a riot. One girl is dressed like a cheerleader; the other is wearing Tom Brady's jersey and underwear (only if both had been shrunk to one-fourth the size). Later, CEO Eric described our reaction as "2-year-olds at a birthday party as Barney walks in." By the way, we're old.


The bad news: I am officially constipated. Food I've eaten since Friday morning: Arby's roast beef and curly fries, pizza, Sausage McMuffin, blueberry muffin, more pizza. Call it the Vegas Diet. I think my body would reject fruits and vegetables like a bad kidney match at this point.

Read and enjoy.


  • At 9/09/2009 6:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The blackjack part when he counted the number, noooo, yesss, noooo, noooo, wait thats 22 yesss had me laughing out loud in the office. Loved the wheel of fortune part as well. Have to agree the NBA writing is too much. His article on the collectors convention was great, we are going to Baltimore next year for it just becasue of his article.



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