Monmouth University is holding an academic symposium on Bruce Springsteen. I'll be out of town (what else is new), but it sounds interesting.

As unofficial president and press officer of the East-coast chapter of the BFFC, it's my duty to report that Brett Favre's childhood home was lost in the hurricane, and he didn’t hear from his mother for two days. What he's gone through in the past few years would have been more than many mortal men could have taken.

I wonder if he'd like a hug.

On a rare serious note, my thoughts go out to anyone in the Gulf Coast area. Maybe I'm just being sucked into the Weather Channel doomsday mentality, but this really looks bad for the folks down there. The scene of thousands of people waiting to get into the Superdome is frightening, especially armed with the knowledge that the place has had major leaks due to rain during large sporting events in the past.

New Orleans is hands-down one of my favorite places. A place for grown-ups, and particularly those who like to eat (me) and drink (me). One of my favorite meals is the red beans and rice at a place called the Market Cafe on Decatur. It's not fancy at all, but you can sit outside, the food is delicious and they seem to have live blues and jazz music 24 hours a day. During my most recent trip to NOLA, in January, we made three visits there.

Here's hoping that everyone makes it through this safely, and that they have homes to return to.

We interrupt this weekend to bring you an important public service announcement...

Two things that do not go well together: lots of wine, followed by sitting home alone watching Beaches.

Carry on.

The lead singer, or at least as I remember the band's hierarchy, of Color Me Badd has been sued for failure to pay child support. Does anyone read that story and not immediately think of the 90210 episode when Brenda, Kelly, Donna and David spent the day chasing around the Bel Age hotel in search of CMB, and Donna witnessed her mother stumbling into a hotel room with a man who was not her father? I quite clearly remember that the episode was called 'Things To Do on a Rainy Day.'

When BAM and I were in LA last year, we walked up and down the path in Hermosa Beach looking for the beach apartment, with no success.

I need to get out more.

Another thing you can count on finding here is lots of discussion about food. Remember the classic Eddie Murphy bit about "I'm not hungry, I'll just have a salad ... I don't know why my stomach is making that noise ... 'Cause you hungry, bitch!" I am not that girl. I love to eat. Pizza, cheese fries, pork roll and cheese, steak and potatoes, fried anything, I love it all. If it's bad for you, I am all in. I frequently wonder how I'm not 400 pounds.

So last night my old roommate, BAM, and I went to the Melting Pot that recently opened in town. We started with the cheddar cheese fondue starter, then had a little salad (I didn't say I didn't eat salad, just that it's not the ONLY thing I eat), then moved on to the s'mores dessert fondue. And of course, this was accompanied by a bottle of cabernet. Cheese, chocolate and wine for dinner. Good times.

After that, I made a quick trip to my crack house of commerce, Borders, where there was a couple wandering around with suitcases on wheels. It's not like they were next to a hotel or airport, since we're in suburbia, so why the baggage? I love Borders and I've certainly bought enough there to fill several suitcases, but I've never actually walked in with luggage. You know those signs in the subway that ask you to report anything suspicious? This was suspicious to me. Who should I call?

And finally, on the way to work this morning I was listening to a mix tape I made a few years ago (which features, among others, Cake, Tracy Chapman, Bob Marley, Sheryl Crow, Dr. Dre, Blues Traveler, Neil Diamond and Sublime - it was one of THOSE days). The song that gave me pause was Rupert Holmes' Escape (The Pina Colada Song). Everything's fine (cheesy, but fine) until we get to 'it was my own lovely lady ... we laughed for a moment.' Is there anyone on earth who would have laughed for a moment about that? I wish I could have been in O'Malley's the night that happened. That'd have been a sweet brawl to bear witness to.

Hold everything, people. Vince Vaughn has been dumped by his PR firm.

I CAN DO PR! It's what I do!

It took me three years to read “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.” Why am I telling you this? Most likely to illustrate that although I usually have good intentions, sometimes I don’t get around to stuff right away.

But I have too many thoughts to share to avoid blogging any longer. This came to a head during the recent “Tom Cruise Is Completely Crazy” tour, when I realized I lacked the necessary outlet to share my thoughts about his follies.

Some days, I’ll be rather prolific. Other times, you’ll wonder if I’ve died. I have a ridiculous job (and I mean that in the best possible way) that keeps me super busy and on the road constantly. To make up for what will no doubt be spotty posts, I promise to compensate by offering good shtick and excellent grammar whenever I do have something to say.

Here’s what you can expect should you become a repeat visitor to winebythecolor.com (I feel like pre-crazy Cruise making his mission statement in Jerry Maguire). I will share inane tales of life on the road (in fact, I started writing this at 34,000 feet, inspired by a sunset too amazing to describe). I will talk about sports, most notably, the Ohio State Buckeyes, Jets, Devils, Mets and the ongoing freefall of the National Basketball Association. I will wax eloquent about Brett Favre and Vince Vaughn. I will pontificate about the merits of the Garden State. I will list things that amuse and annoy me. I will use the phrase ‘good times’ way too often. I will occasionally do some drunken posting. I will rant about bad drivers. I will tell stories that were wildly entertaining to me at the time but will probably not seem so funny to you (see: red wine story, below). I will prattle on about my brother’s kids, heretofore to be known as Crazy Nephew #1 (CN1) and Crazy Nephew #2 (CN2). I will try to be nice.

Many, many thanks to the cocktail waitress at the Golden Nugget in Laughlin, Nev., in whose honor this blog is named. In the midst of a crazed winning streak in Laughlin in March of 2005, I decided to play the big-shot high roller and order drinks for me and my parents. So I summoned a cocktail waitress and ordered their drinks. I then, keeping in line with my never-ending vision quest for the perfect red wine, enjoyed the following exchange:

Me: “What kind of red wine do you have?”
Her: “Red.”
Me: Confused look
Her: “Our wine comes by the color. We have red, and we have white. And they both come in a box.”

The wine, as you can imagine, was awful. But the line immediately went into the pantheon of the best things anyone has ever said to me.

I also thank freakgirl for her assistance in getting the ball rolling. Without her, I’d still just be cracking myself up. Now I’ll try to do the same for you.